At Henry's House, waiting. Jusst waiting.

Well, I'm kinda sad. I'm down. I'm not sure why though. Like I was happy, and then something just got me down. It might just be pms. but like I know it was something more,that I just cant seem to figure out. Well, that sucks. haha. I just hafta retrace when it happened and wuht happened before and after my moodswing. Well, I'm waiting for Henry to come back from bball practice. Yea, I'm happy his family trusts me and everything. We cant hug or kiss in front of them though, and I do understand why, its understandable.haha. The font of his laptop looks pretty. his mommy is playing a cardgame on her computer, LOL its cute. she's like going "ah" when it makes a weird noise, i think that means she's losing :D

Well, I'm going to call Annie. I miss her accually, even though I just saw her a few days ago. We really gotta get started on that play, ill start looking at it soon. Ah, life is a drag at the momment.


I just ate and I cant stop sneezing. Ah. -_-

Family Secrets.

Well, what a Night I had. This is something, that I'm not gonna tell people. Bkos I don't wanna bring it up, but I'm going to put it here, bkos deep down, I know that I want someone to know and make me feel a little better.. Some of you may end up finding out before reading this though, bkos I'm pretty down right now, and its pretty obvious to tell that there's something wrong with me.

Christmas Day, it was fun. But 2am, the day after Christmas, my parents went back to their arguing. Which stopped for about 3 months. They started, the day after fkcing Christmas. Wuht were they just being good to get presents and then just blow it all off? Now my parents. When they fight, it's never just "about them" My mom makes sure she screams it loud enough so any possible person could hear..

I let that one go, I listened to music, I drowned it out, I fell asleep with the new sleep thing I got.
This morning, the 27th, right when my mom came home from work, she started yelling at him already. That was my cue, i turned on my music, and tried to sleep. But no, that didn't work out, my mom screamed, slammed doors, dad screamed back with his thundering voice. I didn't have to hear them to feel the vibrations, music wasn't helping. So I layed on my bed, trynna calm myself.. I thought about Henry, he calmed me down, but the thought of his family made me just want to cry. which er, i did. His family just seems so Happy. Compared to mine. He loves his family so much, they accually do things together, they go places, they spend time together. Now look at my family. I've been isolated from them, BY CHOICE, way farther then I can even remember. And the only time I've been able to get closer, is when they hate each other..

I just wish, I could have a family like Henry's too. But that's not all that happened.

About 3 something. My mom runs into my room, turns on the lights, and screams at me. Hits me to wake up. "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LAY THERE WHEN THAT MONSTER HIT ME?!?! CALL THE POLICE SHERRY. CALL THEM!" And she screams and screams. She shows me her arm. I grab the phone, and start dialing 9-1-1. My dad is coming up stairs, stomping, my mom notices I'm calling and hangs up. WTF. My dad comes in saying "GO AHEAD AND CALL THEM. YOU STUPID MVDLKMCLS." My mom and my dad are both yelling at me to call. When my mom just hung up on them. wtf. They called back. and they stared at me. My moms screaming "TELL THEM." and my dad just stairs..

Me: ....Can I get help for domestic violence..?
Police Woman: Okay, whats the adress? What's your name?
Me: *tells her address* I'm Sherry.
Police Woman: So what happened..?
Dad: What are you saying Sherry?!
Mom: SHERRY *shakes her head, telling me "nevermind."
Me: (So I'm about to break out into tears, bkos im so confused. and have no idea what to do) Nevermind... it was a false alarm, I think i'll be fine.
Police Woman: Wait, did he hit you? Did someone hit you?
Me: No... I'm fine. Thank you anyways.
Police Woman: If this is a call for DV, you have to tell me Sherry.
Me: Oh, its fine though.. Thank you.
Police Woman: Okay...
*Hangs up*

My mom looks at me like I'm crazy. And I'm the stupidest thing in the world. 5 Minutes later, the police came.

Knocked on my door. And you know what the only thing I was thinking when they came over? "Damn, this is cool." Bkos, they talked to me CALMLY. Something I haven't heard all night. They interogated me, asked what happened, if I was hurt, ect. ect. I feel safe around them.

They were gossiping as they were waiting, it was fun to listen to actually. So in the end. My parents got a warning, that if they recieved a call again. one of them was going to jail. So before they left, one of them looked me in the eyes, and said "Have you been crying?" I nodded. And this was very unexpecting. He shook my hand. and said "It's going to be okay," and they left.



Henry's calling me. I'm gonna be so glad to hear his voice... but I'm just really....numb.. I'll put more about what happened some other time. Maybe after someone reads this I can tell you myself.

Xmas Summary.

Merry Christmas. Details later.

NEW XMAS WISHLIST!MANNN. I AM SO B

MAAAAN! I AM SO BORED! You know wuht i'm doing? I'm like going crazy from bordom. -_- I'm like making weird noises and dances. So to keep myself busy i did surveys, and then i though, why not do a last minute updated wishlist? SO here you go secret santa's! After Xmas this will become my regular shopping list.

Top 5 Most Wanted:
Arranged in Random Order. Most wanted! Would LOVEEEE!

1) New Shoes, Comfy, Matches all or stands out :] Size 7.5 in womens.
Boots/Flats/Casual: Black, Dark Grey. White? Bright Colors; Orange! Mix of autumn colors! Red! TEAL? YELLOWWWW. IDK!

2) POOFY BALL HATS THAT KEEPS YOUR EARS WARM!! WHITEEEE :) EAR MUFFS!


3) Ceramic Hair Straightener.


4) Sleep Works From bath and body. Set.

5) BOYBRIEF/CHEEKY/BOYSHORTS UNDIES FROM AMERICAN EAGLE/VICTORIA SECRET/AEROPOSTALE!

Other Wanted Things:
1) WARM CLOTHES. Long Sleeves. TurtleNecks, Stylish Clothing, Different Styles, Good quality, not cheap, unique. Etc.


2) Accesories; Warm Colorfull Long/Short Socks! Cute easy to stylize Scarves. Earrings, Necklaces, Headbands. Belts, Hats! EARMUFFS!
3)New Pants? LOL. Flat pockets. Size 3.
4) Purses, Totes. Bags.

5) Lotion, Smells good, has a purpose.

Damn..

My dad's back to normal.. Lost it over a few bits of food.. he was drunk, i was starving, he was very angry, i was cornered. you guess the rest.




I'll make it on my own without you. These damn bruises will go away, bkos you know wuht? You can't take the hits we'll give you. I can take anything from you.


I don't need you. I'm tired of hoping for some damn stupid disneychannel dream. Its reality now, and you're not a part of it. You're just some damn figment of my hatred.



I really wish I had someone to talk to right now. This is stupid, but i haven't been crushed like this is a while. Time to go get some ice.

Thomas &Friends?

LOL, i didn't know wuht to title it. Well, I'm at henry's house while he's a basketball practice, just chilling. :D I'm happy we've been so good lately, haven't gotten into any sad momments with him or anything ;] Damn, im gonna be mad when i start to pms. LOL

Well, I have 7 new bras! Which i totally forgot to blog about, why? o_o
2 From Forever21,
black and nude, they're convertiable straplessables!
4 From Troarget :]
One is hot pinkish red with a cute white and black polkadotted bow in the middle. I like how it looks on me too :D
Another is all black [Bkos the other black ones I had were not for teeshirts or too small.] Very comfy ;D Xhilaration!
Other one is accually padded and push up [ewww,i know, fake boobs.] But it was so cute! It looked like a bikini! And it was blue, WITH YELLOW STRAPS! Not 'orange' Hieu. -_-
Last but not least from Target, The grey teeshirt bra. Wearing it is like heaven, its so damn comfy, i just wannt fall asleep in it! And i love the dark grey color :]
1 From Annie!
No no, I didn't steal it, she didn't buy me a bra from xmas. -_- She went bra shopping with me that day, and we were trying on each other's bras. She liked how one of my bras felt, so she traded me with the one she had, and we'll give it back next time we wear it around each other. :]

So yea, i hafta pee. Henry's mom is telling me how we should go to cooking classes so we don't die :D Yea, really hafta pee. I have one more hour till Henry comes back!

<3Sherry!

Haha. Jealousy.

No No, I know wuht you're thinking. Its Not Henry. Well, not this time. HAHA. So I was hanging out with Gino &Vjay &Henry after his first homegame! [ More details after. ] And I don't know how, but it got to the whole "College" conversation. And after I went home. Ugh. Saddness and depression. I started thinking about how, all my life, my brother had my family. I was one with friends for a family. He was the one with accually family. I mean, I don't want to be a drama queen [ though i know i already am ] but i just feel like typing this, so maybe i can read this one day and prove myself wrong.. When I was little, my parents usually left me. At the daycare. And took my brother around with them. And I always thought to myself, "Why? Why not me?" and when They would drop My brother &Me at my grandparent's house. They'd be like asking my brother and spoiling him and everything. While I sat there on the couch. And I thought, "Why? Why not me?" I never even stayed at my grandparents house. I would walk around the neighborhood and make friends. And those 5 or 6 year olds knew more about me in a week then my grandparents "tried" to find out in years.

I've been very jealous of my brother, i was a bitter kid. I got over that, bkos I was one, with friends. &I let go of the fact that "Family"'s not as close as they are in the t.v. shows. I may not have had all my family, but I had some, better than none. And maybe, they had a good reason for the things they did.. I thought i was rid of that whole thing. But recently, as I said before, my parents told me that they're not helping me pay for college at all. They can't afford it. Yet they can afford to send my brother. "Why? Why not me?" runs through my head. "He's older," I felt like just exploding in tears, but yunnoe, i didn't. Maybe I just stoned up after all that time. Well, My brother has a whole lotta friends this year. So he has a family. family family, and friends as family. The old me would say "Why, why not me?" But, i'm tired of asking. I'm not getting any answers. So i'm just going to try to stop being so painfully envious. And I'm just going to be happy for him. Bkos he's my brother, and maybe this way, i'll get some of that good luck coming my way.

I'm already lucky enough yunnoe? Sure some things are gonna be tough. I have the Best Friend that any could ever possibly dream of. I Fkcing Love You Sheri, <3 And I Have the husband, that is waaay better than any little "princess" could want as a little girl. I Love You Hunney, Let's get married. :) My Mom is the most hard working, and I understand why she can't support me as much, that just means she believes i'm strong enough to survive what comes next.

So I'm Happy. I'm happy I got over everything. Bkos believe or not, after all that time being alone, taking care of myself, I'm deffinately ready to support myself, and I know I'll have the best of the best helping me along the way. <3


How did such burning envy turn into happyness and pride? :]

Rant? Kinda.

Haha, Maaan. I'm spending so much money on people this year, but yunnoe, I'm happy. I don't even talk to them that much anymore, its the least I can do! To make up for My Absence. I know i have to get Vjay something, bkos she's like 1. My only best girl friend at the school -_- 2. Completely understands me bkos she's in the same position. 3. We have a very retarded Bond :D
And Gino, I just feel like i haven't been a very good friend to him lately, so i'm happy i got him omething :D i just hope he doens't already have it o_o

I think I might get Michael something, i mean, he's pretty cool. He's accually like one of my best friends at school! Haha.

So today, i was mean to Henry. Yeaaa. And the quetion popped into my head, "Am I too cold for Henry? Like the book says?" I really hope not. But I think i might be. Its bkos i don't know how to deal with things, when he makes me sad or disappointed. I mean I can feel really sad, but what can I do about it? I try not to make him sad. But that just makes me sad. And I guess it can be judged as "coldness" But what can I do? Someone tell me what can I do? Just ignore it and pretend nothing happened? I can't do that. Bkos I love him so much. Just sometimes, he'll hurt my feelings. I know i shouldn't blow up on him, bkos I often do that when i'm irritated. Which i shouldn't. He has enough problems coming from me, and I shouldn't create more yunnoe?

Well, tell me if I'm wrong or not, or what I should do. So I got ready yesterday, picked out EVERYTHING, planned everything so that I would be early. And he told that he might just go play basketball, in case I came late, but i told him i was going to be early for sure. So i came, and ran over and asked if He was there yet. "No, he's not in the lockers." So i'm happy. I thought i was early. And I was standing waiting for i dunno how long excatly? And Henry appears from the doorway. "Yay! My Hunneybunney's finally here!" is what I'm thinking. "Oh I was playing basketball." He replies... Ouch. That hurt.
He knew I said I was coming early. Did he just not think I was going to show up early? Didn't believe I would do what I said? Well, it just hurt me. Bkos i told him i was gonna be early. I really wanted to spend time with him before school. This always happens too. When I'm early, he's not. When he's early, I'm not. And it just made me sad bkos, i was early. He was early. So i was pretty sad.. Yea, I'm a clingy drama queen.
He wrote me saying sorry, and that he knew I was mad for waiting. No. I wasn't. I wasn't mad bkos I had to wait. I would wait forever to be with him. I was just frustrated, bkos this thing always happens. Disappointed, of all the effort I put into it just to wait alone while he was playing basketball. Sad, bkos in the end, i still didn't get to spend time with him.

My emotions ran deep, and i didn't know how to react. So i guess i was "cold" to him... What was I supposed to do in that situation? I know if we had switched places though, he would be fine with it, disappointed, but probly would've pretended he was over it. I wish I could do that for him sake, I really wish I could. But I can't. I know I shouldn't be too hard on him. it's not his fault at all. its probably my fault, he said he was going to play basketball, maybe i should've just gone to check if he was there. there i go again being stupid.

Well, at least we got over that. I don't know what to do. I mean, I've been in relationships before, But Henry is nothing like the others. Nothing at all. So it feels like I'm in my first relationship all over again. Someone help me out here.

Henry, I love you hunney, no matter how much of a stupidass I am. I Love You, Very Much<3

Merry Soon To Be Christmas!

I should really be sleeping! I needa be early tomarro! I will drag myself out of bed if I have to! I told Henry i would be coming early and i shall! :]

Well Xmas Shopping is almost done! I bought Presents for; Henry, Gino, Mommy, Daddy, Annie's mommy, other Annie, SmileyyyBoo!
[ ] Sheri<3
[ ] Annie!
[ ] Finishing part to Vjay's!
[ ] Extra Special Part for Henry :]
I think I'm gonna try to get presents for;
[ ] David&Fabian; They're sharing. :D
[ ] Saggy/Ana! :D

I Hope I get to spend this christmas with someone I Love, bkos last year was a very lonely time. Everyone pretty much left with Friends for xmas. I was at home, pretty much alone. Cept for maybe 2-3 hours that Sheri came to visit? :]

Its been feeling like xmas for me ever since thanksgiving, so i just hope i won't be disappointed!

Well, Henry, I loveee you! Em Yeu Anh! Yea, It's been a bumpy time lately, all the paranoia, the events, i havne't had a day alone with you in so long! We need to go out on a date again, maybe after xmas.. when we don't have to save. haha :]

Wish List;

At the top of my list at the momment is;
+[ ] SCARVEEESSS! HATS! WARM ASSECORIES THAR STAND OUT AND MAKE THE CLOTHES POP! :]
++[ ] Golden Yellow TurtleNeck Sweatshirt from Forever21! OH GODDD PLEASEEEE!<333

+[ ] New Shoes That Stand Out! :]
+[ ] Anything from the SLEEP Brand of Bath&Body! <33
+++[ ] Ceramic GHD Hair Straightener. <3<3<3!


I know there's more. buht thats the top of my list from the top of my head. :]

Thoughts.

Well its official. I hate school :). You know how I'm getting by? "Its okay, school will suck ass and it'll be good from there." No, no it won't. School, high school is supposed to be the best years, buht yunnoe wuht? It sucks. Why does it suck? It should be the best years of my life. Maybe its just my school. James Lick. Well, whatever, i want to move. It shouldn't be school when I hate it. School's like a shirt, When I don't like it, I change it, so maybe i should just change schools.

Change my school life or just plain school? Fkc, I hate school, PE was like my favorite class last year. Its like one of my LEAST favorites now. NOTHING is fun. Like seriously, only good part about PE is getting to hug Henry and stuff. And i'm thinking "One more year of PE and I'm DONE." Last year I would've said, "One more year of PE and I'm done :(" Wtf man? I think it's just the people. Like for one thing, i don't have any friends to make me CRACK up like I did last year. I have friends, which i don't even really talk to much. One of my closests friends in PE doens't seem to be a good friend at all. Which pisses me off.

Nhat Tu, she tripped me today, on accident, and I tumbled and slid on the ground. Dramatic. What does she do? She stares at me with this blank smile like I'm retarded. Doesn't ask if I'm okay, doesn't offer to help me up. Bitttccch. If I had tripped her i woulda been screaming I'm sorry and be the first one there to help her up. Pisses me off. I hate people like that, they act so "cool" too "cool" to touch you when muther fkcer no one knows your damn name in the class! Wtf?

Well everyone in my PE class is pretty much gay. Like, I can't like talk to them at all. Cept Henry, and well, Juan? wth. haha

Only thing I'm thinking is, "School's just holding me and Henry back," I still believe that. School's just not fun at all. Seriously. Ugh.

Well, James Lick sucks ass, i want to move to a place where its fun. I happen to know school can be FUN, so dnt be tripping balls with me when I say it.

The Sky Is Crying.

I hope things get better Hunney, you're all i really want for xmas this year.

Cooookieees.

Well i'm sitting in the living room waiting for cookies that my brother's friends are baking :D I agreed that chicks digged guys that bake, free cookies! ;D


Wow, my brother has close friends. O.O this is kinda awkward. I mean they're not even like quiet and like yea. Its weird.

Well, he's having a better year then me. lucky him. I'm gonna talk more about this later, im gonna wait for cookies :D

HunneyBunney<3

Hey Hunney: This is for yu!

Em yêu anh rất nhiều. Em nghĩ rằng em yêu anh hơn sau đó anh có thể tưởng tượng. Em yêu anh nhiều hơn bất cứ điều gì, anh sẽ không bao giờ đoán bao lâu nó đem em để tìm hiểu làm thế nào để nói điều này. Em thậm chí không nghĩ rằng em đang nói rằng: nó đúng. Em sẽ không bao giờ muốn làm tổn thương tới anh. mặc dù anh có thể không tin em, ma anh là chỉ có một người em muốn, chỉ duy nhất có một người em sẽ bao giờ muốn.

Haha! LOLL. I have no idea if it's right, i didn't even know half of these words existed..



So the vball game was bad :D i feel sore :D too much running today :D YAAAAAY! ..no not yay. i still have hw. damnit.

Life sucks.

Lol, you'll never guess what I'm doing. I'm sitting down here listening to my mom say how much she hates our family, and lalla. Why I choose to sit down here? Bkos the minute I leave my asshole dad might think of doing something to little mommy. He says he hates me too, lol. There's a lot of that going around. Why doens't he just fkcing move out and sht? Damn.

Well, my mom's not really helping me want to protect her. Buht, i'll stick to her, bkos she's the reason i'm alive.

They've been fighting since morning, this time i accually kept track. They started 2:12, stopped 3:47. started again 4:17 ended 5:02. Started AGAIN 7:31 ended 9:13. Started AGAIN 12:38. Now its 1:09. And during the whole fighting period, man i wanted someone to talk to.. I really wanted to talk to Henry. Buht i couldn't. The only chance I'd have of talking to him when i'm really down at night, is if I'm lucky enough to have him call me. And him, he can call me anytime he wants to, when he's down, when's he's not. Sometimes i just wish it was the other way around. Now my dad's being all "My daughter is so lalala, she yelled at me its all her mom's fault" Why the fuck is it Mom's fault you son of a bitch?! Huh?! Do yu want me to just sit there when yu mother fucking yell at her for doing nothing wrong?! AND FKCING THREATEN HER?! HUH?! Yu Fucking stupidass whore. There's nothing wrong with her. You're the fucking reason I'm like this. You. Not her. Not anyone else. So if you don't like it fucking move out. No one wants you here anyways.

Damn, being called a fucking screwup by possibly the hugest screwup you'll ever meet in your whole life? Thats some bullsht right there. LOL, its so wrong it cant even be paired up with the word "Hypocryte." Wtf ever. My fucking "dad" no, my fucking Whoreman.Should just go move out or die. He thinks i'm a screwup for talking back to him? Muther fucker he doesn't deserve sht from any fucking one.

Well My mom's going upstairs and my dad's trynna follow her. Over my dead body he's touching her. He'll hafta go through me before even getting in her airspace. And i will fucking knock him out if I have to.

If I'm not picking up calls or anything after you guys read this, do me a favor. Call the police for domestic violence will you?


Damn.

I Miss You.

I miss you. I'm sorry. lol. this is like my 4 blog in an hour.

I really messed up hunney, im really sorry for hurting you, i never want to make yu feel those heartaches ever again. I never. never. never. want to. Im so sorry.


I wish you were here so i could tell you how sorry i am. I was so mad. I was so down, I was questioning everything. Just at that moment, a song played on iTunes. "Forever More" I flipped open my phone to the picture of you and me. This is stupid. Those thoughts all are stupid. Wtf was I thinking? I was stupid. I am so sorry hunney. I never want to hurt yu again. Never. Ever. Ever.


Forever More;
I can't think too much about tomarrow,
The past is done and gone away,
But there's is one thing that i'm certain of,
I want to start my life with you, again, today.
So what do yu say we fall in love again?
Just like it was when we first meant.
So what do you say, we try our love again?
'Cuz you know we belong together,
And i know this time its gonna last forever.
The ways we hurt each other,
I know we both regret.
Words exchanged we know,
we should've never said.
Lets make it right this time,
and start a new.
Can you please give me one more chance,
To make it up to you?





Please Hunney? Can we try again?

...ramble ramble.

I'm going to be up late at night. My heart really hurts right now. Bad thoughts are swimming through my head. I talked to Henry, and i guess we did talk. Buht it just feels like nothing got sorted out. Man, my friends. They agreed with what Henry thought. And i'm not going to disagree. What if they're right? What if i was doing what they accused me of doing? What if i fkcing was? Man. I hate myself. I'm so mad at myself right now. I'm such a fkcing retard. I didn't notice it. fkc me fkc me fkc me. I'm just so mad.. my heart hurts. i dnt want to play in the game tomarrow. I just want to stay home. Stay home a turn my eyes red.

I'm probably being too dramatic at the moment. i DON'T want pity.. right now i just want to cry and cry and cry. I don't know what i want. nothing feels right anymore. everything's just upsidedown.

Its funny how someone can act one way to you, and another behind your back. Well, still feeling lonely. as lonely as i'll ever be. I hope. So i had a dream, i had a dream that i was at school, and everyone just glared at me and walked away. The people i thought were my friends. So, in my dream. I cried. I sat somewhere i hoped no one could find me, and cried. and there were the people, hudding up. "Why is she crying?" "Just forget about her, she always cries." And yunnoe wuht i realized? This yea, all i've been doing is crying. And yunnoe what else? Crying is just starting to annoy people. i guess it just doesn't mean anything buht "attention whore" now. I guess it has no fkcing purpose except to get people's attention. i guess nothings wrong with the year, IM NOT EXTREMELY DEPRESSED OUT OF MY MIND AND LONELY, and IM ACCUTUALLY FKCING HAPPY AND JUST WANT TO GET YOUR MUTHER FKCING ATTENTION BKOS IM BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



......man, i hate life. yunnoe those kids who grow up thinking "I remember I used to be such a happy kid, i wish i could go back!" yunnoe what kids? BE FKCING GRATEFUL BKOS I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO FKCING HAVE A CHILDHOOD TO WANT TO FKCING GO BACK TO.

Man, everything's just coming out, everything i've been keeping locked away in this little box in my head. The box titled "Better Left Unknown,"


Henry, i love you so much. So much. The whole time at home after this whole bad, busy day. All i did was daydream about you. And when i finally get to talk to yu, all of this happens. And I'm really sorry if i seem like i'm being dramatic. I don't want your pity, and i don't want you to take the blame. Its all my fault. I swear. Just let me take the blame for all the pain and heartache i caused yu. I fkced up. Just let me take it in, and lock it away in the little box, along with all the other great heartaches, the ones too big, to ever want to remember.



<3

rethinking.

The other blog i wrote i think might be better unread. This is my issue and my fault so i'll have no part in introducing an excuse for it. I messed up. No matter what the fkc my reason is. And i'm sorry.

Yes. I fkced up. And i'm tired of having to explain my reasons that probably no one even believes anyways.



I just fkced up. End of story. No fkcing details about it. I'm a stupid fkcing loser. Stupid stupid stupid fkcing loser.

And now i understand why you didn't want me to know about them. Well im glad yu did, bkos it's shown me how much of a bitch and fkcer and loser i am. and that i should go climb in a corner and die.

hahaha........ jk..... im jk. LOL..... funnny..........FUNNNNNY......

Soo, Henry<3

Happy 8 Months Hunney!<3 I'm so happy that I have you, so happy and so lucky!<3 Happy Birfday Sang. LOL. I Love You So Much<3 And I hope you have a good time, and feel better about the whole family BS.

Well lets see, today i thought was a good day, though there were some bad parts, that did make me sad. ]:... kind of makes me doubt what friends I have. Buht yunnoe. This year isn't all that great,in my opinion, it sucks. But oh well. I feel very Lonely this year, I mean, I don't really have friends this year yunnoe? I have people I CAN talk to. But I just wish I had friends that I could just kick it with on the weekends and stuff. Oh well, what ever. My old friends, i love them, but it doesn't seem like they want or care if i'm around. Oh well...

So Today is my 8th month with Henry, God i love him. He's been so much help and support through all the BS lately. I love him so daaamn much. He makes me smile, he's what gets me going through the day. And I know I want friends, it probably would be easier to make friends without clingy to Henry everyday. But now that i have to eat Lunch with the Volleyball people 2 days a week, I can't just let go of Him. I mean I love him ]: and I miss him! Well, im sure he's going to start connecting and get some good friends without me around 2 days a week. He's probly gonna be having the time of his life without me. Which is good :) I'm glad he'll have buddies. Maybe i'll be connecting with Friends too.


So I Love Henry, and he gave me flowers, they were so pretty, he's so sweet and cute. He's my hunneybunney<3 I wish i coulda done something special for him ]:

Today,

Oh Henry, the things you do boy<3 Went on a double date with Shayrai and Matt. :) Yeaa, i need to spend some alone time with Sheri and Henry. Henry bkos, its Henry! And Sheri bkos, its Sheri! Though every time i go somewhere with Sheri its usually never alone. o_o



Well, today was fun, buht when i got home there was trouble with Henry. ]: more family issues. grrr. makes me so sad, his family is so mean sometimes ]: Hunney, i wish i was there with you right now, im sorry i cant be there for you when you need me.


He just called and had to go in like a few minutes bkos of his parents probably. Hunney, if you're reading this, call me back ANY TIME you want to. I have my ringtone on blast and i don't care what time you call, just call. If you want to talk to me. I want to know if you're okay, i want you to be okay.


<3I love you, <3Lobguin.

Puppy Love,

So i was playing Volleyball in PE and stuff, and also hugging Henry and stuff bkos i just cnt keep my hands off him, like always. When Davilla, says this; "Puppy Love," .. That got me thinking yunnoe. I didn't really care about it much at school. Buht when i got home i started wondering about it in the shower. &I'm pretty sure that everyone probably thinks the same thing about me &Henry, Puppy Love.

What excatly makes something "puppy love" ? What excatly is "Real" Love? Arguments? Tears? Unhappiness? Why does that make a couple, "real love"? Why excatly? bkos they've been through so much together? Gotten through everything together? Fixed their issues with each other together? Is THAT real love?

I started thinking about that, sure me and Henry don't have many fights, thats something i'm PROUD and happy of. I dnt want to fight with him. What can we fix together if there is nothing wrong? "Don't fix something that's not broken." they say. I believe every word in that. I LOVE HENRY. I love what he have together. I love everything about it. And i don't care what people think about it bkos im not gonna change it, to make it "real love". Everyone starts off this way, they just cnt stop thinking or loving each other, and then, over time it just starts fading away. Well, me &Henry have been going on like this for almost 8 months now, i dnt want things to change. So our "Puppy Love" Is lasting a little longer then the rest. Why should it matter? It makes us both happy, and if we lasted this way forever, wouldn't we end our lives happy? Whats the typical "real love" got to do with us? Nothing, for me, this is real love.

I don't want to change anything about him, i love everything about him. We both have our own issues that we help each other get through, so what if they're not about each other? Whats wrong with that? I'd rather have him be there for me through the problems, then have him be there by BEING the problem.

Henry, i love you, so much.<3 :)

Time to eat mashed potatoes and watch George Lopez/That 70's show ;]

So i'm thinking,

Well, i'm still pretty sure that I do not wanna be the one to make up with Annie. So yea, buht who knows, i was very mad, buht i guess i "overreacted". Or just went too public with my overreactions? Buht i dnt take anything i said bkc, maybe the bad language and stuff, buht everything else i keep and i'd burn into my right arm. fsho.

I'm starting to wonder if anyone knows Annie the way I do. In fact, do people know a lot of people the way I do? Like the people that yu guys know, i've known another way. its weird, its like, they tell me things like "I think you're the only one that knows this side of me" and its funny, bkos people like that treat me a whole different way then anyone else. Some treat me really nice, buht others, who i get closests too treat me in a whole different way that no one would believe if i told them. Why is that? Man.

How can they say how much they love me and how much I know them one day, and just treat me like sht the others? Pmsing, calling wuhtever. Buht I just wish they'd at least treat or show the other people this side. I hate being the only one to deal with it. the whole "i dnt wanna tell and bother other people thing." does that give them the excuse to bitch off at me just bkos im the only one that really "knows" them? Man. Bs.


Some people I love so much, even though I barely even talk to them. Sheri<3 Cindy<3 Nancy<3 Phillium<3 Gino<3 Vjay<3

I barely get to talk to them at all anymore, sometimes we dnt feel close at all, buht its like, when christmas comes around they're the first i think about getting a present for.

And of course, The love of my life, who i can't live a day without having contact with: Henry<333

Todaaay;

Well, today's a new day. I talked to sheri about the whole "Annie" thing. I love her, and although she's probably gonna continue talking to Annie, which i wish she wouldn't anymore. I love her with all my heart.

So she told me that when i was down/mad. And she informed Annie about it, the first thing she said was "That's so stupid." Wtf. Yu dont call yer best friend stupid after yu muther effing just ruined her plans and dnt even give a sht about her consent. So afterwards when they were going to jack in the crack, sheri invited me. She didn't. She didn't even seem to care about how i was feeling. it was just "tralala im so happy and having so much fun" So while they were there, she ate a spicy popper thingy, that made her cry. Then she tells sheri to take and picture and send it to me so i'd feel "sorry". Wtf. Why the hell should i be sorry? Damn, stupid. Then LOL, its funny. Sheri told me straight up that I should have a conversation where i should smack, shake and yell the fkc outta her. ROFL. iLY<3


So vball game. Yesh we lost. ROFL. Buht i dnt care i dived and swang and set and everything! I got my ass on the floor and im proud! Maaan, today was pretty cool, i was all "tralala" then i saw Ky walk in. ROFL. I was like "OH HELL NO FKCER. IM STEPPING THIS GAME UP!" then like yeaaa, it was good, then HENRY'S THERE! MAN I GO CRAZY OVER THE BALL NOW. :] I'm glad he came to the game where i saved the ball ;] at the end when everyone was saying "1 good thing someone did" So many ppl said I hustled and served them up! I was sooo happy, like so many ppl said me that coach was all "Okay im rulling out sherry someone say something about another person!" ROFL i was all "DUDEE COACH! RULLING OUT SHERRY?! THATS HATING!" LOL.


Yeah, it was cool. &ILOVEHENRY :D

Fkcing Whorebag.

Annie's a fkcing whorebag. I want to shank her ass. Bitch bitch bitch.


Yesh, im very mad. Very Very Very Very mad. She ruined my plans. Ruined my day. Took my best friend. Ruined my fkcing day. Invites herself into my plans. Comes to my house to hang out with my best friend. Leaves me helluh bored. she's a mother fucking whorebag. Fkcing bitch bitch bitch.



Damn, im so pissed off.

I made plans with her before right? Bkos she says i need to spend time with her. Then the next day she tells me that she's going to the moonfestival with Victor. I dislike the moonfestival, i get very bored. So i tell her its okay. So since everyone was busy i finally found the oppurtunity to hang out with henry for a day! FINALLY. So i'm so happy to get to spend a day with him bkos i've been clearing my schd for my best friends lately, so they wont feel left out. All of a sudden she calls bkc saying that Victor cancels on her and she wants to hang out with me. Wuht the fkc am i? I backup plan? Someone she hangs out with when the rest are busy? So then i tell her i alrdy made plans with Henry, and she gets all mad at me. Next thing yu know sheri is texting me saying that she's going to gmall. I've been trynna get a day with her like all week buht she's always been busy, so annie wants to go and suddenly she's available? So then she says she's coming over, and so's annie. There goes my plans for the day. Annie's plans were to ruin my plans. Fkc her. Fkcing fkc her. She can't just invite herself into my plans and tralala. Not only that buht while they were at my house, she didn't even seem to care to talk to me. You're in my fkcing house fkcing slut. Get a clue. So wuht ever. Im still very pissed and i've been wanting to rant about this all day. The whole day i was talking to henry trynna calm myself down, when i wasn't talking to henry i was being left out in the background while they were having a good time. Today sucked fkcing ass. And im pissed.


Fkcing slut, i wish yu never meant Sheri. yunnoe wuht i wish i never meant yu. Damn. Im so pissed. Wuht the fkc ever.

Fridaaay.

Well, School was pretty cool today. I tried staying in a good mood all day. And not letting little things piss you off and get to you really works! So school was cool. I stalked someone in first period. ROFL. I got his number from my friend and he was sitting next to me, so i txt him saying "You're sexy, I'm outside your window everynight." And like 5 mins later he's staring and it and he goes "WAAH???!?!" ROFL LMFAO. I starting cracking up so he found out it was me.


Bleeeeep boooop. Skipping to brunch, 2nd period was boring. Me and Henry were hugging each other everywhere saying "I HUGGED YU LONGER! I LOVE YOU MORE!" It was fun. <3 I love himmm.

3rd Period; I completely got confused at "The dragon" o.o Lorenz was laughing at me. o_o. HOW THE HELL WAS IT A TRAIN THOUGH?! ROFL. Then David did the Jack in the box Middle finger thingy ma jiggy.

So P.E. I cant really remember it. I accually ran today though. and In football. Eh Nhat Tu's got a new vietnamese buddy. So i guess i'm gonna have to find another PE buddy. I'm deciding between Diego or Lorena. o_O. I'd pick Henry buht he has too many friends that would probly get mad if i took him away from them.

Lunch; Me and vj went to try and change schds and got food and applications for working at lunch. ROFL when we were walking to the counselor someone went in and i was like "How's the door closed? o_o someone was in there o_o" And then Vj cracks open the door and the ppl inside stare at her like "O___O" and she's all "NHAAA SORRY :D" ROFL LMFAO HAHAHAHAH OMG THAT WAS SO FXUPING HILLARIOUS.

So 5th period. We saw V for vendetta. Oh god. The extremality o_o It haunted me. It felt like i was there, and it was so awkward to walk out in the halls after that..

6th. I remembered my little reading thingy!
Truong toi co bong cay cao
Tuong gach Mai ngoi, Hang rao bao quanh
Som chieu toi den hoc hanh
Nho ma, cham hoc lon thanh nguoi hay!

FSHOOOO I remembered it ;] Just not the damn symbols. Hate the damn symbols -_-

Volleyball; It was okay. I did better then two days ago. Way better buht im still pretty off.

So i was pretty tired and stuff after that, and when i saw Henry i was happy :] He's so adorable, and he makes me smile. Then after we bought the cake thing i was down again bkos his mom was making me feel like i didn't know wuht i was doing. And Henry said i looked annoyed, so she probably thinks i was being a real meanie to her.. Then on the drive home Henry's dad was saying how much i sucked at vietnamese. And i don't think he was joking. Eh, i don't think he likes me very much. I feel like a huge disappointment or failure.. i'll try getting better, for henry. Well i think i might like bring Henry's mom flowers today, just bkos i appreciate her being so nice to me. Cept i want to do it when his dad isn't there, i dnt want another reason for him to be mad at me..


Well, today is another day.. God i want to get better so badly. I don't want his parents being disappointed in him bkos i cnt fxuping be better at vietnamese.




aughghgfhgjsnvksl. Bye.

Rantrantrant.

Man, I had so many weird dreams last night. I don't know why, buht they were about Anthony. I wonder is you're able to see me from up there, old friend. God, do you remember those little fights about who's life sucked more on aim? I always loved you for those, bkos you always convinced me that life is better lived, not grieving. I Love You<3 And i miss you, a lot.

I had a dream about Henry, my only normal dream, and the rest, they were all about you. They were little flashbacks, the day i first met you, the day i got to know you, everything. I can't believe how close we used to be, how everytime something went wrong in my life, you'd be the one i'd come to. I remember thinking to myself "No one can ever tell me like you do." It hurts, it hurts to know that your gone. Its like i spent a year in denial, hoping you'd come back. I still sign on aim, and while i'm broswing, your sn just catches my eye. I can't erase it, i try and try, buht i keep hoping you'd just come back.

I'm so sorry how i abandoned you. I feel so angry at myself, why did i do it? I'll never get a chance to have one of m best friends back. I hate them. I hate them i hate them. It wasn't your fault.... its never your fault. YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO_!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID THEY-!!!! ........you didn't deserve to.....Anthony, i miss you so much.. You were like a brother to me, always and forever my brother<3.


Today at school, i tried to remain happy, to ignore everything, slowly and slowly every few secs i kept thinking about you, remembering you. I tried to keep myself busy, nothing. I fkcing hate this. I think im still in the stage of denial.. I picked little things to get mad at, trying to keep my head from thinking about you, and the day you were taken away. IVSJKCMKS....... fuckers. i want to......... i want to wringe their necks.

I got mad at everything today, having too much hw, too heavy books, wasting paper, i even got mad at henry, for not coming to talk to me about wuht was wrong. Im so stupid, i wanted him to notice how i was feeling, buht its not like i would've told him wuht was wrong anyways. Today, another thing happened, he got mad at me. Something that took me by surprise. I could tell he was mad. So bkos he was mad, i got to the "so angry im going to cry" phase. I left and threw my books around, when i got home, it took me only like a min to break down.

I'm sorry i brought you into this, in a way i hope that their lying about "heaven" i'm hoping you really do forget everyone you knew in your life. Bkos Anthony, i don't want you to see me like this. I wonder, if you did remember, do you still think about your little dorky bestie?

R.I.P. Old Friend.<3

Recaaap.

Maaan, these days have been up and down lately, i got home from the vball game at like 10. LOL. We went to eat tacos and then drove like an hour up to the game. Then when we were going home we stopped in gilroy to eat and in and out. HAHA. Maaan, fatasses.

Well i just showered and its 11:37pm. Finally finished homework, gotta study for tomarro, buht man TGIF. Thank god its friday tomarro! Man. I cnt wait for the weekend. School's starting to get better though, buht these days have just be up and down. God, im so glad me &Henry are still like great :] at least in my opinion we are? I Cant keep my hands off him! Buht i think he needs to spend more time with his friends, i dnt wanna take him away from them yunnoe? ]: He has sooo many friends too, seriously. -_-


Haha, i love him, and i can share him.... i can try... LOL. Oh, and I HAVE TWO FREAKING BUTT BRUISES!!!!! THEY HURT TO SIT ON!!!!!.


I Love yu :D

RAWR

Man, I am so disappointed/sad. How can it be possible to have just one person you want to see the whole day, and look foreward to every chance yu may get no matter HOW MANY DAMN TIMES YU GET IT TAKEN AWAY. I wanted to see you all day, i dreamed about yu, i thought about you, i love you, why is it the day i really felt like i just needed to be with yu is the day yu weren't around at all?


Wuht the fkc ever. Man. I'm gonna go do homework.

Today;

Well i decided to put this on my blog because it makes me feel better everytime i think about it.

Well, my mom has been telling me all this bs about how I'm not a failure at life, who's going to go nowhere and all this crap. After like 2 days of feeling miserable i realized all this time that they're the ones that's been putting me down all my life. Henry's the one that's broughten me back up.

I don't really give a sht anymore if disappoint them or not bkos they have been disappointing me all my life. Whether its forgetting to pick me up, giving the food to my brother while i starve, taking away my freaking bed leaving me with the fkcing sofa and no damn blanket to sleep on. I don't give a crap anymore. I know excatly where i'm heading in life. I'm not some dumbass who's going to ruin their life over a guy. Henry is Henry. He's saved me from any kinda trouble i was heading towards bkos of YOU, my parents. And if yu just won't accept that fact, then i do not need your support. I didn't need it when i was 2, i didn't need it when i was 7, and i guess you've just let me down again, i don't need it now.

One day i'm going to come back to them, I'll have Henry, i'll be successfull, and all i'm going to do is look them in the eyes and tell them, "I told you, told you a long time ago."

Henry, I love you<3





Volleyball;

Was the fuzz. We owned ;] JV Rocked AND i played with Varsity! I'm not also the setter and the captain for the JV team! Man! I'm excited! haha



And also dead tired from the hour car trip, no food buht a hotdog [ A DAMN GOOD HOTDOG ] And 4 sets for 2 games all day!

PEACEEE!

Volleyball Today.

Maaan. I didn't think they'd let me go. Buht they did. It was such a heart attack, i got ready and everything and i was just about to leave, when halfway down the stairs my dad comes through the door and i like scramble up again. ROFL. man fkcing scary ass.. So I stayed there for like 5 mins and he started coming up the stairs and i ran in the bathroom. Then when he went in his room i ran downstairs and was about to leave when he asks, "WHERE'S SHERRY?!?!!?" &I'm like "O_O.. Hereeee.." and he's like "AND WHERE ARE YU GOING?!" And I'm like "Volleyball........?" and he's like "WHO'S DRIVING?!" And i'm like "Do you want to?" And he's like "No my back hurts, walk carefully." ROFL. FKCING GOD. MADE ME ALMOST LIKE DIE. I WAS SO SCARED. DAMN.


So Anyways, Volleyball was cool, i think i might choose to stay with JV, coach STILL says he may just bump me up anyways buht he's not sure yet bkos i think he knows i want to stay in JV. Its not that i don't like varsity. It's just so hard for me to feel at home there yunnoe? With JV, Although its either i never get to touch the ball or i get the ball too much -_- *twitch* its fun, it really is! And i like this year's coach, i really feel like we're learning more with her. Although i think we need to do a lot of scrimaging.

So After volleyball, my sunshine appeared. :] I got to see him, finally! Its only been a day without him, buht it just feels like its been so long bkos of everything's thats happend. Well basicly i dunno when my parents will trust me, or even give him a chance. They honestly have nothing to worry about, im not stupid. He's not just some random guy i met. He's special, and i dnt give a =x if this kinda thing happens all the time, he's real. He's Henry. And I Love Him<3 I know if they just gave him a chance, they would too.

So Now I was listening to whole bunch of music, trynna watch friends buht the websites wont work. And Folding clothes thinking about Henry. Now i'm about to take a shower :D

My Uncle Just Came in, The cool one :D God, I love him. He's like "Heeeey pretty laydaaaay! So have you eaten yet? Wuht're yu doing? Oh wuht do yu WANT to eat? I'll get it for yu ;] Are you home by yourself?" All these questions that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE FREAKING FAMILY BUHT HIM ASKS ME. And then i said "No my dad's home" He's like "WAHT?! WHERE?! I KICK HIM BUTT. I DO IT!" ROFL. Fob-voice. He's so awesome. THey need to have an uncle's day. I don't see him my dad and him related. :]

I'm gonna take a quick bubble bath, my head hurts, listen to music the whole time and then call Henry ;] My Love<3 Today's not such a bad day. Maybe things will slowly begin to get better.


Continuation;

Man, my cool uncle is still here. He's so freaking Nice! Gosssh! I loveeee him!

So I just came out of thee BEST bubble bath, EVER! It was like the smell of irresistible apple everywhere, great smelling shampoo, spa warm water. Soothing music from my laptop. I just like litterally fell asleep in there, and i had a dream too, about Henry. :] We went to the prom together! Goddd, that was a good dream, maybe i'll have it again ;]

So after i come out of thee best bath ever, i walk into my room and there's a cup of ice cold water for me annnd food! It was like just made of something! From who you're wondering? My awesome uncle ;]

Well, i'm watching "Its a boy girl thing" right now on crunchyroll.com. LOL. I miss Henry like crazaaaay right now. I'm pretty much on lockdown, at least for like a week or so, buht that doesn't mean im not gonna be able to see Henry, fsho i will. Bkos i can not live without him, I miss him. I wanna see my parents faces, senior year, senior prom, when i open the door for my "date" and my parents see that its Henry. Haaa Haaaa. I'd be like "Told you Years Ago Mom, Told you years ago." and we'd close the door and drive off :]


I called him buht he didn't pick up D: I missssh him! Hope he calls!

Morning.

My dad told my mom everything. Everything. I've now been ripped away my boyfriend. my trust. One of my best friends. My Cell Phone. Any family I had. And another 25% of my happyness.


Well, there you have it. More to my "awesome" fantastic week.


I'm strongly starting to hate life. Buht I will get through it..

....

They caught us. They caught me and Henry.

I just feel so down right now. I've been waiting like a week to finally get to be with him, and when i finally do. Everything just goes wrong. Just when i think we can finally be together. Wuht is wrong with this schoolyear.. Everything.. I just hate it. Everytime my hopes and happyness goes up, it just gets shot down. Why is this happening? Sophmore year just shouldn't be this hard.


I just feel so numb. I'm talking to Henry right now, im not going to tell him, buht my heart is acheing. So much. I just feel so numb, so hopeless. Every single hope i have, everytime i've gotten happy or anything, it just feels like something wants to seperate us so much.


I think i might need to go to therapy.. I mean, i feel so numb right now, i know i feel sad. Buht it just feels like, man. I dnt know wuht i'm saying anymore. i don't understand myself.

Just fuck. I'm so tired of all of this happening. Why can't we be together hunney? Why? My heart has been hurting so much lately it just feels like its going to burst.



Someone help me. Show me, tell me, prove to me that it'll be okay in the end. The past week, ill tell you now, i've been in tears, at least once everyday.

I'll tell you something else, a little tradtion i used to have. Before i met Henry, i had this little tradition, every night, i would cry. every single night. My parents, the loneliness. It just always got to me. I finally got rid of it, the day I began to have REAL friends, the day I starting hanging out with Annie, And i lost every trace of it the day I relized how much I really loved Henry. And now, all my old traditions are all coming back. All this year.

I just feel like quiting. Everything, buht knowing that i quit would be worse.

Without Henry in my life, if they took him away from me, i'd rather just get in trouble every fucking day. Every fucking hour. Just please, get my mind away from all this pain i'm feeling from missing him. Please.

Son of a.

Well, i got back the vietnamese transfer paper. I got denied. I don't understand why. Well I don't excatly know wuht to do anymore, i mean i think i'm going to talk to the counselor to try changing it. Buht yu see, me being my super stitious self said "I'm going to apply, and wuht ever the counselor says i'll stick with. I'll let fate decide for me" And they DENIED me. I don't get it. Wuht did i do wrong? I'm trynna take it two ways; maybe it'll be better for us if we do just leave it as it is. I mean, everything just seems like they've been trying to keep us apart in school, yet when we're together outside its like we're the only two ppl on earth. Or maybe I should once and for all let go of my superstitions bkos Henry is way more important than wuht my stupid mind believes in.


I don't know. Bkos i've been okay, i mish him SO much in school, buht those times that i get to see him just brings a smile to me everytime. Those 2 hours, 1 hour, any time longer than 30 mins that i get to spend with him just makes all the bullsht seem worth it.

Buht i don't know, yunnoe? I mean, its the first week of school, wuht if we just get so used to us being apart? I don't want that to happen. it feels like my heart is cracking everytime i think about it. I know its dramatic buht I honestly, feel that way. Everytime i think about how much i miss him my heart just cracks another bit inside.

Just wuht to do you want from me?
Wuht are you trying to tell me?
Do you want to make me miserable
Or are you trying to save me?
Just why, i don't understand why,
why would you want to take away my sunshine,
Seperate us from eachother,
Break and crush all my hopes of being with him.
All my attempts, my effort,
Wuht do you want from me?
Do you want me to try harder,
Or do you want me to just quit?
Are you trying to tell me its better this way,
It'll work out in the end.
Or do you want me to just disobey you,
Bkos this is far more important then wuht yu say,
I'm just so confused,
I don't know wuht to do,
Baby my heart is breaking,
Wuht do you want from me?
Why? Why? I don't understand why,
You're turning all my sunshine into rain.


<3Sherry.

Second Day Of School.

Was better. Well to me i still pretty much dislike the classes, buht today was much better than yesterday.

Lets start off with the morning. I came way too early, I put my stuff in my locker and walked around looking for someone to talk to, i thought i was pretty early so i went to go surprise Henry for when his car came. When i was walking i ran into David :D Yay! Man, i miss having him in class with me! We walked around talking about how Henry Does/Does not own a car. LOL. We couldn't find him so i thought maybe he already came and was in the lockers, so me and david walked back and ran into vjay! Yaaaay 1st period buddaaaay :D So while we were in the lockers Henry showed up :] Put a hugeeee smile on my face and then walked me to first with vjay.


1st period, FUN! Lovedddd it. I had Smiley and Vjay with me, And Ramiel too! That loser :] Maaaan it just made me accually feel like today was going to be fun.

2nd period. I was waiting for Henry at his chem class when it took too long so i thought that he had alrdy gone inside, buht just as i was about to walk into my math class he appeared and sent me off :] Love Him<3 Eh. It was okay. I made friends and all buht I still have that sad gloomy feeling when i look around and see that Henry's not there. God I Missed him. Buht lucky for me today was some huge test, so that kept my mind off the depression for a while.

Brunch, Ran into Gino :D And then Henry and Vjay and Michael and Lorenz all at the same time, man. They all have chemsitry together. it sounds like such fun. man how i want their chemistry class. ]: it makes me so envious, i want that class sooo much, i want them all in my class too ]: Vjay + Henry + class = Funnest thing in the world! I swear, man. I mish both of them in P.E. so much. So We went to go turn in the forms, for viet, maybe hopefully we'll all get p.e. together, and i'll have vietnemese with henry :]

3rd Period. I made a new friend, i forgot his real name buht i cal him slushy. Though i can tell that he's annoyed of me bkos i saw him for next class and lunch after that and i kept calling him slushy in front of his friends -_- So anyways pretty boring. Buht it was fn meeting a new person, i accually learned something, i mished henry terribly ]: usual.

4th period. Spanish. it was pretty fun, it was hectic, made me want to accually keep my schd the same just to stay in that class. buht I gave it up, and in the end i'm glad i did. Bkos having Henry in my class would just make me so much happier.

Lunch. We all walked to the bball courts after we turned in something for gino, then letsee we ran into Henry, we hug for a while and he asks me "Can I Play Basketball today?" I mean, its so sweet of him to want to know if its okay with me first buht him asking me feels like i whip him. Thats the last thing i want to do ]: If he wants to hang out with him friends he should without having to ask me yunnoe, bkos. Imagine if i said No. Then he'd stay with me bkos i told him to, not bkos he wants to. I want him to want to be with me yunnoe ]: and if he doesn't then.. i'd be sad buht im glad he's happy and having fun. I think he might be playing basketball alot more now, buht if he's happy i'll be happy. At least i'll get to look at him and hug him sometimes. I mish you hunney<3

5th period. World History, the teacher accually kinds inspired me with his words. Funny thing is i can't even remember them anymore. LOL buht hey w.e. The whole time 5th period just made me miss Henry so much. Everything he was saying about "The most important thing to you in the world" "Who's the most important person" "Who do you love the most" Man, just everything, i felt like i wanted to just go hide under a blanket and lay down with puggles. He made me feel so many levels of missing Henry. it was like my whole paper was filled with his name.

6th period. P.E. God. Man this class made me GLAD that i requested for a schd change. Its just SO BORING. its nothing compared to last year's PE I mish the skater crew, I MISH HENRY, I FREAKING MISH VANESSAAAAAA! She was like my best friends, she made my PE class the funnest class the whole schoolyear! PE was something that made me happy to think about. And they took her and Henry and Fabian and the rest all away. The took away the fun of PE. Its now "PIECE'O .....EE-CRAP". YESH THATS RIGHT. PIECE'O EE-CRAP! God, that class made me sad thinking about everything last year. Damn class.

After school;
I went to vball, man im glad i came, it was fun. COACH ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO JOIN VARSITY! I just couldn't stop smiling, i was so panicked bkos i thought he was going to like cut me for not coming to practices buht he asked me if i'd like to joing varsity! It just got me SO excited! Maaan. And then the JV coach pulled me aside to work on my setting and stuff, yeah,im getting better. I've been having Roy coach me like the whole hour. Murder man. Murder. -_-

After that i saw Henry and snuggled with him for a few minutes, then he hadda go into bball practice so me and Roy sat and watched him for a while, then i went home and came back right after his practice was done :] i wanted to be there after his first bball practice just like he was there for my first vball practice :] I <3 Him So Much. Vball + Henry made my day! <3

Brunch time

First day of school.

Was total BS. Man. I hated it. The only classes i accually liked were English &PE. The rest were just heartbreaks. I don't know man, i just hate everything this year. I mish Henry so much it hurts, not being able to see him like in the summer. And Vanessa, she's like my best friend, buht even though we're in the same place right next to each other it just seems like she doesn't need/want me around. Even Gino's there, i finally have a class with Gino, and it just feels like i'm invisible. Man. I miss everything about Last year. I Miss how everything used to be. I think i have a crying/tearing disorder. Mostly every year the first day of school, i cry. Cept 8th grade and freshman year. Which were like the best years of my life. Now, it's back to how it was, foreshadow a horrible year to come. Every year that I cry usually ends with no real close friends. And horrible family. Last year, the year before, my family wasn't always there for me. I didn't even feel like i knew my "family". Buht i had friends. the best friends anyone could ever ask for. They made my year just skim by. The years before I just felt so alone. And now it feels like i'm going back to that stage. I hate it. My mom told me wuht might happen to us. Everything. She told me everything. And now this. The school. It just feels like they want to isolate me.




I know, I know. I'm too dramatic.

College Pressure.

Well, I was looking and reading about all kinds of stuff this morning. I started reading James lick's website trynna find out when the damn first day is -_- Then i found the "UC, CSU" requirements and reccomendations. Man, 4 Years of Foreign Language for a UC. Idk. I think i might end up sticking to Spanish bkos i want to move to Piedmont. They have a phycology[? cnt spell] class there. And i'm thinking i want to major in that. Interesting :] They even have Choir, 4 levels! And Home Ec, they have like everything they want there. Cept Vietnamese, they only have two years of vietnamese. Maybe its bkos its a mostly vietnamese school? Just like James lick only has 2 years of Spanish bkos its mostly a hispanic School? Who knows. All I know is i'm starting to realize how soon college is really coming, and i really need to prepare for the future. I need to start applying and try getting colleges, bkos i'm most likely paying for my own tuition. And I need to start going to a school that has wuht i want and can support me for college!


Well, this is my second post on blogspot, Hehe :] LOL. I still think its pretty. I just can't believe old xanga won't be there anymore! Is there like a way i can transfer all the xanga posts to blogspot or something?


Well, <3 Much Love. I hope i get to see Henry today :]

Testing. Test One. Testing.

Well, I was going around and visiting my xanga, when i realize that xanga is getting kinda, eh. its starting to annoy me now. Buht idk. Some people might still continue reading xanga, and plus well there's just so many posts and memories on xanga. Buht for now i'll start posting blogs and stuff on here. And when i start to miss xanga again, there it'll be. :]


So i got my schd back from james lick. I was SO upset. I mean i had NO classes with Henry, not ONE. Omg. I'm still very upset about that. I mean i really love him, and i really hope we can get through this. Buht i think this is going to be a very hard year for us. No more late night phonecalls bkos of school. No walking to our classes together. No having him next to me to hug and poke and throw things at. No standing and hugging outside our classrooms till the bell rings. its just going to be so different. And he has his own friends i cnt expect him to hang out with me everyday instead of his friends. I know all of them and its just not going to work. So I probly won't get to see him often for lunch. I was also talking to Sheri, and i realized. That Henry's my anti stress. So without having him to juice up the class time, i'll probly be stressed out like ALL the time. Includeing when i see him. I'll probly just be mad and stuff all the time around him. And eventually everyone will tell him its better just to be without me. AUGH. AHH. JESSUZZ, Its just not fair yunnoe? I can't believe they didn't give us ANY classes together. Not even any of the same teachers buht one.

Well anyways the schd;
Locker; 2035

Period 1; English 2a - Heger, T
Period 2; Algebra 2 - Rabor, C
Period 3; Chemistry - Lacanaria, S
Period 4; Spanish 2 - Hellebrandt
Period 5; World History - Frausto, P
Period 6; PE-Course 2; Bruce, J

Come hit me up, Come find me.