....

They caught us. They caught me and Henry.

I just feel so down right now. I've been waiting like a week to finally get to be with him, and when i finally do. Everything just goes wrong. Just when i think we can finally be together. Wuht is wrong with this schoolyear.. Everything.. I just hate it. Everytime my hopes and happyness goes up, it just gets shot down. Why is this happening? Sophmore year just shouldn't be this hard.


I just feel so numb. I'm talking to Henry right now, im not going to tell him, buht my heart is acheing. So much. I just feel so numb, so hopeless. Every single hope i have, everytime i've gotten happy or anything, it just feels like something wants to seperate us so much.


I think i might need to go to therapy.. I mean, i feel so numb right now, i know i feel sad. Buht it just feels like, man. I dnt know wuht i'm saying anymore. i don't understand myself.

Just fuck. I'm so tired of all of this happening. Why can't we be together hunney? Why? My heart has been hurting so much lately it just feels like its going to burst.



Someone help me. Show me, tell me, prove to me that it'll be okay in the end. The past week, ill tell you now, i've been in tears, at least once everyday.

I'll tell you something else, a little tradtion i used to have. Before i met Henry, i had this little tradition, every night, i would cry. every single night. My parents, the loneliness. It just always got to me. I finally got rid of it, the day I began to have REAL friends, the day I starting hanging out with Annie, And i lost every trace of it the day I relized how much I really loved Henry. And now, all my old traditions are all coming back. All this year.

I just feel like quiting. Everything, buht knowing that i quit would be worse.

Without Henry in my life, if they took him away from me, i'd rather just get in trouble every fucking day. Every fucking hour. Just please, get my mind away from all this pain i'm feeling from missing him. Please.