Hmm.

I'm Confused, and Yet;

Really Happy.

Today was a really good day. *smile

*frown.

Thank you Annie for keeping me company the day after.
Thank you Matthew for keeping me company the night after.
And On Christmas Eve-12am. =)
Thank you Sheri for keeping me company Christmas.
Thank you Diana for keeping me company today.

I'm sorry that I've failed to feel completely better. But I'll get there. Sheri says I need time off from thinking. I can't be rational. Not when it comes to you. I just really, want to see you again. I just really wish I could turn this whole winter break around. I can't believe I've gone a week without seeing you..

I'm having a constant battle with myself, that is put on repeat for the past 4 days.
"I can move on.. I have to.. I'm fine..I'm okay.. I just have to be happy, just be myself, and if things are meant to be, he'll be my knight again!"
"........Why doesn't he want to be with me anymore?.."
"We can fix this.. I can call him, a little bit. Right?"
"... it's pointless. He just doesn't want to try anymore. He's just given up on us completely, why can't I do the same? Why can't I get rid of all this pain in my chest..?"

Repeat. Repeat.

Confuzzled.

I have no idea where this is going to go hun.
But, I'm trying, to keep my head up.

And as long as I don't lose you forever, I'll be fine.
I don't want to rush anything, and I don't want to risk losing you. haha.

We'll see where this goes in the future, and I'll be hoping for the best.


SHERI IS HERE, MAKING CAKES WITH ME. We were robo.to whoring >:DD
BEHOLD! ;D

WEBCAAAAAM PICKTORS?

Should I just, give up..?

Is everything I'm going through a waste? Have you given up on us, or do you really, really, don't know what to do..?
This is so crazy, it seems as if both of us are just waiting for the other one to make the first move.
I Love You, This whole thing happened, because no matter what I did, it always seemed as if you didn't love me the same way, being with me wasn't as important to you as everything else, saving our relationship wasn't as important to you as everything else.. Show me, if you love me, show me.
I pulled an illegal move, and yet I feel a bit at ease to have heard your voice.
But I can't do this anymore, I have to find out if this is the right thing to do.
"It's up to him to choose whether he loves you or not. Whether he's willing to try and win you back."

Just give it up Sherry. He just doesn't love you the same way, and you will never again be his, "#1", he will never again try to get you back, Alright? It's just not going to happen. Now just get over it. Got it?

Wait it Out;

Keep your head up, watch this a million times if You have to.
Dear Sherry,
I am writing myself a letter to make sure that whatever I do, I MUST NOT, AND WILL NOT, Give In. No matter how many times I cry. No matter how many meals I skip. No matter how many nights I lay sleepless. Must. Not. Give. In.

I don't know if my bodyguards will let me call you and say this, because I'm on probation from making any stupid moves.

I Love You, I Miss You..
Merry Christmas, ..."HunneyBun"... < / 3

Can't sleep.

I slept at 2:30am. Woke up at 6:30am. Can not sleep.
I'm currently nestled inside a tent I made with 2 blankets, and my ears are cold. =)

I'd just like to dedicate this blog to 3 special people.
Sheri, Annie, And Matthew.

This isn't in an order of importance, but in a role of play.
Sheri, you knew this from the very beginning, you know it was going to be hell for me. My voice of reason, my role model, my example. I Love You, and I Love You More. For the next few days, I'm going to be stupid. I'm going to be vulnerable; and as much pain and hurt I feel right now, at the same time I feel safe. I know you'll keep a look out for me. I can't begin to explain how much you mean to me.

Annie, damn, I can not believe you put up with me the entire day yesterday. =) You're so adorable, forcing me to hug you when I have to crouch over a little. <+3 I'd gladly do nothing with you, and I'm so sorry you came at a time when I felt like crap. I'll make it up to you, somehow. Just to let you know, a Hug and a few "I Love You" 's, was exactly what I needed, =) I'm sorry I've been such a loserface lately, but you stuck with me, and now you're stuck with me. Thank you. God, I adore you!

Matthew, YOU. ARE. AMAZING. I can not believe you listened to me blubber like a baby for 2 hours, and somehow, turned the WHOLE conversation around to get me smiling. You are absolutely a saint. A saint. A Saint. A SAINT! *bows* I praise you. Thank you, SO much, for helping me sleep last night. Really, I think it would've taken me 4 times as long to sleep, if it wasn't for you.

I'd be lost without you, and I know, it's cliche, it's a stupid line from a stupid drama; But It's True.

You guys know, I still miss him. And as we speak right now, I'm feeling the need to choke back tears.
"I know that if he really was “the one” he would come back for you because he knows that YOU are “the one” for him."

I Love You Guys<+3

Hope.

I Keep hoping that every single sound I hear outside my window will be you.
Coming to tell me, that we can work this out.
That you love me.

Such a hard time for me right now. The parents arguing. Packing everything by Sunday. Knowing that your present is left laying by my bedside. Knowing that the very second the present I got for you arrives, I will burst into tears.

I Love You..
Is it wrong of me to love you? Is it right for me to feel so heart broken?
How do you get over someone you still want to be with?

Why, why can't you love me like the way I love you....?

A man won’t let go if he really loves you.
Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you.

"Can you picture us still being together in the future?"


If you read this before you actually call back.
"We Need To Talk."

Annie'

Is at my house, raiding my closet and neglecting the long sleeve I picked out for her D:

TAKE THAT ANNIE.


:D..... *poke*



Annie is sleeping over, =) it is 1:13AM. ;DDD WHEN THE HELL IS ANNIE AND HENRY'S PRESENT COMING?!?!?!



Can't wait for Xmas present opening >:DDDDDD SO exicted! PWAHAHAAH.

"HO HO HO, FEEL MY BOOBIES!" -Annie.

Yes annie, I will.

Love,<+3

Note To Self;

NOTE TO SELF;

-Pack Up By Next Sunday;
To my new tiny little house, with a Tiny little room as shown in this picture;
<<<<<< -Finish Driver's Ed Class by 12/26/09.
So the pink slip will arrive by/before 12/28/09.
Just found out my uncle, the driving instructor, could've taught me everything for free, and given me a pink slip. -_- WHATTA WASTE OF $20 ON DRIVER'S ED!
-Steal pants from mom
that she doesn't wear, fix/skinny up the legs and give it back to her along with other extra's for Christmas :D
-BUY SHERAI SOMETHAAANG.
-Drop Off Vjay's present at her house,
along with her jacket, and 3 pairs of jeans.
-WRITE XMAS CARDS!
-Finish 3 conclusion paragraphs &Thesis.
-Finish Hw packet for Chem,
STUDY FOR CHEM.

I think that's everythaaang?! :D

Change;

I'm moving next sunday, to my new home in Turquesta Court. Near Independence High School. *sigh. I'm really going to miss the 5-6 years I spent in this house. All the memories, good and bad. I'm going to miss being so close to James Lick, the library, Henry's and Vanessa's house. I'm going to miss a lot of things.

I tried to convince myself, this is a new beginning. Things will be different next year, but perhaps they will be beneficially better. I just never fully realized how soon this huge change would be. What makes me mad is that, when Sheri moves closer to me, I move farhter away from her in a matter of weeks. When me and Henry want more time together, I move farther away from him. When I wanted this year to be the year that'd I spend 84549387594385793 fun times with the group, I move away a distance too far to walk.

I'm just a little bitter. I will begin my packing this Sunday, moving out Next Sunday. Will I even have enough time to go Christmas shopping at this rate? Be able to spend time with Henry like I planned? Or will my ass of a father condemn me to stay and throw away objects I find valuable?

Head Hurts. Eyes Hurt. Heart Hurts.

Just to calm myself down, before I start crazily ranting about things I don't really mean, this is going to be a stupid vmsjkvnfhabvskjvn fljksnb fjsbfnsvjknsblbjsbvnladjkbvnhakbv njhBAJHSBAGHVHAHKNSGFOMV SBUHKSGB &HCIBJVlbfz blog. =)

So yeah, I got hit on elementary schoolers today.
They were pretty immature, and as annoying and stupid as they were, they kept my mind from bringing up depressing thoughts.
They kept whistling and sht, until one was like "I LIKE YOUR ASS."
At that point, some guy, looked 17-18, who was already walking towards them said, "AYE You stupid little kids. You don't fkcing go disrespecting beautiful women like that, especially if you don't even ...something something? Something along the lines dealing with puberty? LOL. Now get your small little draw on chest hairs outta here, ALRIGHT?! (LOLOL @ChestHairs.)

I'm smirked, and turned abound to see the group of little boys fumbling around the older guy. LOL.


Been a while sad I had "fun." Fun that lasted the whole day. I'm so stressed out.

NEW PRC FOR JAMESLICKVSA.

LOOKING AT THE Public Relations Coordinator Of the James Lick Vietnamese Club! =)
Or, what ever the hell our name is going to be.

We're looking to some new things to do,
Currently;
Selling Hot Chocolate at JL Brunch and Lunch, if you want some outside of school, go ahead and request ;)

Majority of the club wants to perform and get involved with other schools.
So Other School Officers, hook me up. Let's all be friends. =)


COME GET YOUR $1 HOT CHOCOLATE @BRUNCH AND LUNCH AT MS.POLLET'S ROOM.

..Ask me what room that is later because I forgot :D

Another Post About Henry.

This Song makes me smile like you do. =)
"I don't know what it is but, I Love You. I Love You. I Love You."


I never get to be with you, when I do, why do things go wrong?
It's because, the only thing we've been really needing lately, is passion.
You know I've been missing you, <+3 .

To everyone having stress;

THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!;
Cute Puppy Tries to whistle; =)

Whistling Puppy @ Yahoo! Video

Amazement. =)

It's amazing that I will be driving in 6-7 months. =)
Legally! That's around June/July. Depending on how long this Driver's Ed course takes me.
I'm really looking forward to being able to drive myself to Henry and drive home and such.
I know more obstacles to be with him and going sprout out from the ground, but it just feels great knowing that soon, I would have gotten rid of a big one.
Knowing that even though I'll be living a far walking distance away, I'll be able to visit. Even if it's just to drop a kiss and remind him how much he means to me.
I. Can't. Wait. =)

Another thing. About the Vietnamese club.
We have some really great people in our club. And some others that aren't so great.
And Demi, I know you're having a really hard time about all this right now. And I don't think you're being a bxtch about it at all. Those guys were being assholes. And some people just don't understand that before you start the fun and games, we need a plan first. You deffinately don't have to publicly speak for them if you don't want, but I still hope that you'll come to the meetings and support us.
I think I'm going to try talking to them now. Even though, honestly, I'm sure my face will turn red like a tomato either from embrassment, or just from plain anger.
And, remember those conversations we used to have about, ____ =x. the one who interupted yu about the website thing? LOL. Don't worry about it.
I'm here for you. I'll drag Henry up on stage with me. Maybe the assholes will be like, "OMG. A HOT GUY. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO LISTEN BKOS WE ALL WANT TO BE AS HOT AS HIM!"

Yeaaah.


Christmas is coming up, I have just a few more people to go on my list. =) All the super important ones, that will probably spend 80 dollars or more from my savings. xD..

Henry Minh Nguyen;

Is the cutest boy in the world. =)
LOL, cutie, one eye is chinkier than the other.

He's my sugarbaby. And I'm oober happy and lucky to have him in my life <+3!
Miss you hun. Want to hug yu right now )=

Jerks.

I absolutely can not STAND jerks.

People that treat you as unimportant, like you're the "follower" to follow them.
Jerks can SUCK IT.


BTW, Diana, I miss you. )= Haven't talked to you in forever!

The Cutest Thing =)

Here’s a funny fact. Join your two hands as shown above.Let’s start :

The thumb represents your parents. Now try seperating them apart, and they’ll easily open. They easily seperate because you are not destined to live with your parents forever. Now join the two thumbs back together.

Next, separate your index fingers and they will open too because these fingers represent your siblings, and they’ll also lead their own lives in the future.

The middle fingers represent yourself.

Next separate your pinky(little) fingers. These fingers with open as well because, they represent your kids, who will also have a different life from yours, eventually.

Lastly, try opening your ring fingers. You can’t right, this is because the ring finger represents both you & your spouse & no matter what you’ll remain together for the rest of your life.

FWEEEEPDEEP?!

Random Things;
1) I really need to do ChemAP homeowork.
2) Most homework all the time, is ChemAP homework.
3) I had 3 different types of fries today.
4) I paid for none of the fries :D.. YET!
5) I doubt I'll actually be getting things from my wishlist.
6) I Like surprises, but I like things that I wish for more. :D!
7) Fuzzy socks are a must this season.
8) Sometimes I'm wearing a low-cut shirt, without realizing, and when I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I'll say, "OH HEY! BOOBS! :D There you are!"
9) I rarely ever have "boobs" -_- LOL.
10) I feel colder at night without a phonecall from Henry D:
11) Puggles tickles my nose when I hug him =)
12) Idk how Christmas will be this year
13) Idk where I'm going to be living for Chirstmas Day.
14) I realllllllly want to live near Sheri D:
15) I terribly miss Henry )=
16) Even though I see him at school, I still miss him.
17) I miss going out on dates with him, or just spending time, away from school. Which I consider to be "stress-o-mania"
18) I don't think I'd be stressed at all if I didn't have ChemAP. -_-
19) I'm a horrible shoppahaulic, a poor one.
20) I want to be so rich, that I can sell a whole lotta beautiful houses for cheap prices to ppl in desperate like me, who've been evicted from a nice place :D
21) I tweet, myspace, facebook, read blogs, and youtube for a majority of my time at home.
22) I like having all types of different styled clothes
23) People that change clothes into a whole different type of clothing amazes me
24) I WANT A TURTLENECK ZIP UP SWEATER :D
25) I'm a little worried how my relationship will be after I move..




I'm still waiting for that one weekend date we've been hoping for. <+3

LOLOLOLOL!

CHRISTMAS WISHLISSSST! =)

Clothes ?!
- I Love turtlenecks! =)
Loose Fit FTW!
Size S-M.
-Cute shoes
Doesn't have to be expensive, just cute. =)
Hoping for some different colored flats maybe? Yadiggggg?
Size 7.5 =) In some cases, 8.
Ex; OMG I WANT THIS ONE BAAD!
a.n.a. Buckle Flat;
Available at JCpenney for $30.00! :D

GOLD/PEWTER COLOR!
Charlotte Russe Crinkle Patent Flats $18.99

Size 7.5-8.0 =)
-Love dark pants/Jeans,
Yes, skinny jeans. I'm such a hypo from last yr.
Accually, as long as they're cute, I don't mind the color =)
Comfort is pleasure! (All examples are from F21)
Stone Wash Skinny Jean $22.80

Fabianna Skinny Jean $12.50
In Indigo/Purple and Burgandy


H81 Acid Wash Color Skinny Jean $26.90

Torn Jean, 27.80

Size 3, or 26
-I LOVED THIS SHIRT!
Forever21, Attached Striped Scarf Top $17.80

Size S, Medium Fine too.
-Pretty Flowy/Loose cardigans =)
LIKES STRIPES!
-ACCESSORIES!
I'm in dead need of cute necklaces! And/or earrings!
Prefers them long, DATABLE. Can wear with turtlenecks! =)
Looks Classy. Stylish.
One BIG charm, or many small charms !
Examples?!
1. Wired Heart Pendant Necklace,
I LOVE LOVE LOVE! F21, 4.80
2.Tillys
3&4. Charlotte Russe



-SCARVES!
I Love thin ones, that keep me warm, without being bulky. =)
Scarves are much loved!
-FLUFFY HATS!
Yunnoe, the ones that will keep my ears warm with/without flaps!
Charlotte Russe, Chunky Knit Slouch Beanie $8.99

Tilly's Tassel Women's Beanie, in black. $14.99


You're Too Poor?!
-Webcaaam! =)
Gna be living pretty far away soon, )= Gna Video chat with boyprend :D
OMG, COUPLE WEBCAMS WOULD BE SO CUTE!
-A Licensed Driving Instructor
to help me get my Driver's License? :D
-Money! :D
I'm trying to raise money to pay for Driver's Ed/Driving Instructor :O
-A House
Monthly Rent Under; $2200.
Close to Friends, Not too far from JL.
Nice, new, not trashy.
Good neighborhood
-Cheeeesecaaaaake?!

My New House.

Here is a Checklist of the House I was hoping I'd be living in;

-Two Stories
-Looks pretty, Somewhat new, at least.
-Good size
-Close to JL.
-Close to Henry's House, walking distance under 40 minutes.
-Close To Sheri's/Nancy's/Diana's/Annie's House.
-Close to some type of restaurant or convience store.
-AC and Heater.
-Big closet, I have a LOT of clothes.
-Nice room.
-Not isolated from Friends.


What is not striked out, is the house My dad is forcing the family to deal with.

What Girls Wished Guys Knew;

What Girls wished Guys Knew

I bolded what fits me best. I Loved Reading this =) My boyfriend is probably gna get bored of it though. LOL

1. Don’t think that just because you didn’t tell us we are never going to find out.

2. Our friends know EVERYTHING.

3. EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Guaranteed.

4. No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

5. We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts/calls, then worry if you haven’t.

6. The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

7. When we’re not talking to you on MSN, we’re actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

8. When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

9. Our favourite part of the MSN convo is at the end when you say good bye, because that’s the part you say you love us.

10. We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentines Day.

11. We don’t care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

12. Yes, you might be the reason we failed that Maths test.

13. We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

14. We don’t care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

15. Of course, we do believe the crap we read in magazines.

16. We have mood swings. Get over it.

17. Everytime you’re around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

18. We don’t want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbour/best gal friend is.

19. Movies like ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ depress us.

20. We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

21. We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

22. We hate it when you go to discos without us.

23. We hate feeling as if we are like any other girl.

24. Don’t brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

25. When we say everything is ‘fine’, it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces.
(Sometimes?)

26. Don’t just say ‘ok’ when we say we don’t want to talk about it.

27. If you want to know something about us, ask our best friend.

28. If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

29. We think you are the best guy in the world.

30. We.Will.Kill.You.If.We.See.You.Slow.Dancing.With.Another.Girl.Without.Telling.Us.
(Not Kill o.o -Sherry.)

31. We really do want you to stick up for us.

32. Compliments. We love them.

33. Be on time. We will think you don’t care if you’re not on time at a certain place.

34. Whether you say (L) or luv or love does matter.

35. We don’t care if you couldn’t come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don’t lie to us.

36. We like cuddling up to you so let us.

37. Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

38. You will be classed in our ‘Hate’ list if you forget our birthday.
(More like, HURT list)

39. Do not ask what’s wrong. We’ll never tell you we just want you to cuddle us.

40. You need to tell us what you think of us, we don’t make assumptions (apart from ‘OMG HE’S GONE OFF ME HASN’T HE?!’)

41. Telling us that we are pretty will mean absolute LOADS.

42. Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

43. If you do end up doing Number 42, you just have to hope we aren’t in a bad mood.

44. Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

45. We never forget things. Ever.

46. We over-analyze everything.

47. We over-react to everything.

48. When we are mad at you, we aren’t actually mad at you we just want you to apologize so we can start showing we like you again.

49. Please don’t stand 384931491329403 feet away from us. Even if we are scary.

50. Please acknowledge that when we are online when you sign in, we probably have waited ages for you to come online so please make it worthwhile.

51. We do not care if 50 000 other guys declared their love for us if you do it none of them matter.

52. We don’t like being used.

53. We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

54. We usually don’t let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, damnnn you must have done something bad…

55. This is the way it works: You don’t give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don’t give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

56. We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

57. Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

58. When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

59. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

60. And please for the love of god shut up about how fit/good at something/great other girls are. You know we like you and the fact you do this despite you knowing how we feel is just evil.

In General;

This week has been very unproductive. *frowns*
I've been really tired, or shall I say, LAZY. All week. Not been keeping up with my studies and whatnot, not getting my sht together.

Been so stressed out about everything, school work and sleep just get left behind. Man, I am sleepy all the time. Been falling asleep nearly everyday in APUSH, Math Analysis, AND Spanish. 3 times a day and I still want to nap afterschool?! Crazzzaaaaay.


I need to find "Sherry" again, the one that does her work. -_-



Goshnesses, I Missums my time with Henry. )=

*sigh.

Shoutout to Sheri before I begin my stooopid blog!

I forgot to tell you before, and your probably already know, but the pictures are okay to post everywhere =) Annie thought what I got her looked stripperish ;) not exactly what I was going for, but hey its cool =)
"Stripper Ninja" LOL.

I have good news, and I have bad news.

The good news is,
I found a house for rent RIGHT on the same block as mine. In the SAME private street, same EXACT HOUSE, BUT PINK.

The bad news is,
My dad refuses to buy it, because it does not have "parking space." he'd rather buy some far as hell house, not 2 stories, not as nice as our house but more expensive by $300, just because it has a little bit more parking space.

Wtf? Man. I was so relieved to see that in case we can't find a nice house, we have one for rent right here in our own little block.
But no. Bkos he won't take it. He wants to take a house way down by YB. I don't want to spend my last year of high school at a school so far away from where I call "home."



*sigh. I Miss Henry Right Now,
Though I wonder how would he "react" if I told him this.


--------
P.S.!
I really need to start taking Driver's Ed. Man, I wish i took it sophmore year -_- If I knew Vietnamese was gna get cut out, I would've just taken Driver's Ed instead, same outcome anyways, I'd still be in Spanish 2 this year, right?

I'm trying to find a cheap Driver's Ed and a Free-Cheap Driving instructor. Gotta start flowing in some cash for college. Anyone got a relative that can be my driving instructor? I'll pay :D

I won't kill you, I've had 0.5% experience in driving :D.......

=)

Past 2 days with best Friend was loads of fun =)
I love her dogs! All 3 of them =) They laaaahv me, so cute!

I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR HUNBUN'S VOICE AGAIN,
"It's only been 2 days Sherry, chill!" .. 2 WHOLE DAYS MAN, I reaaaaaally missed him =)
You know you really love someone, when you have a fun time, yet you miss them, and wish you could share the joy with them.
I stole that from Diana. =)
I reaaaaaaally reaaaaaally missed him though! Call me HUNBUN, I miss you and I Love You So Much =)

Don't get me wrong, Of course I miss Henry, but I had a GREAAT time with Sheri! Sheri, don't think I didn't =) It was really fun, I'm sooo happy we got to spend quality best friend time! HEHE!

I have so much I want to blog about, but I can't. So many pictures that I can't show. bkos =x.
But I have pretty new =x! Is that a secret? ;)

P.S.; Dear Sheri, I watched yu as you rolled over into your slumber ;DD I wiped your drool, and then stared at you as yu slept peacefully.

ROFL, man I am so creepy. =) And that's why she loves me!

My HunBun Left For Las VegasThis Morning. 5:55AM.

I Miss You Hun. I've been missing you, and I don't just mean now.
I know I've been up the wall lately, being annoying, agitated, ect.

Every week, I wake up thinking "Okay, This week, for sure." And by the end of the week, on Friday, I'm thinking, "..Maybe Next week. Next week probably.."
I'm sorry I've been driving you crazy. I want to spend all the time I can with you, talk to you all the time I can, is all. I get disappointed when I can't, and then I get stupid and cause problems.

I just miss you. I Just REALLY miss you. Last year, it seemed like we always had each other. Now I'm adapting to not seeing you anyday but on a schoolday+Friday. ( I have no idea what a school day is.. Never have. O.o)
Just to let you know, Microsoft word capitalized the O.o. Watch it'll do it again. O.o HAHAHA. Oh sorry, irrelevant. O.o LOLOL! Oh okay, I'll stop now :D

"I ain't no vision, I'm the girl who
Loves, You. Inside and out,
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire"

God, I Just Miss You Like Crazy Hun. <+3

Aprendar Attencion!

Housing gave us a list of available houses for rent!
If you would like me to live near you, and become your bestttt friend,


Please Leave Me Your;
1) Full house address. =)
Zip Code Very Importante!
2) Names of streets nearby.
Surrounding streets, whatever!
3) Details of your neighborhood. =)
Is it a good place? Is it loud at night?
Can I walk around in shorts or something without getting jumped?
Is there somewhere I can run away, and buy food nearby?
IS THERE A JACKINTHECRACK/TARGET/SAVEMART ECT.?!
4) Whether or not the houses are nice. Pretty? :D 2 stories hopefully? Looks big/good amount of space? :DD!

I'll add more to this later, but let me know! =)

"What's On Your Mind?"

-I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO GET FOR ANNIE! -_-
I want to get her something nice, but I can't think of ANYTHING. I feel so unoriginal right now.
-This song, STILL. LOL!
just the song, not his dance moves. HAHA.

- Whether I'm going to go shopping with my mom later on,
How much she streched out teh arms of my new shirt -_________-
Well, "her" new shirt.
- I'm such a shoppahaulic. And I want those grey boots. =)
- Whether or not i'm going to pass ANY of my AP tests. Shhhht. AP is so hard, makes me want to pursue a less advanced career. Maybe UC Berkeley is really just too outta my league.
- Should I continue on blogspot? I LOVE blogspot! But everyone seems to think it'd be so much easier if I used my tumblr instead, bkos every has tumblr now adays, and it'd be easier to follow ppl.
-What would it be like if I went to another school next year? ...
-Why have I been sneezing 40 times in a row?

Planting Daffadills was fun today =) got in some more community service ;D I love community servicing and having a great time!


BYEEEEE!

Kinda Person I am.

I'd like to say,
That this is VanessaJoie Castillo. Mi Novia, =). And I can honestly say that I don't recall anything evil/bad, or ANYTHING that she has ever done to ANYONE. She is Filipino Club President, and deserves to remain in that position!
She also hosts kick ass birthday parties ;D Sweetest girl in the world, and said meanies out there should be nicer to her, or leave her alone until you can choose to do so. =)


Other than that, I Love Hip Hop. Real Hip hop. The legacy, none of that fake sht.
I like Contemporary dancing, emotional dancing. Rythm.
I like storyline, and meaning.
I like working out in a tank top and boxers.
I like meeting new people, having a good time, and making the world a better place.
I like singing in the shower.
And I like people, who like to hang out with me, for me. Not my boyfriend.

I'm Stuck And I Can't Believe It =)

Can You Believe How Long It Has Been?

I Love You,
Today was a good day. <+3

Err.

I Need an Easy Way To Forget, Fast.

Steps I go through in order to forget something.


1)Get Completely Fed Up About it, Angry. Wants to smash something.
2)Realizing how much it actually means to me, and ending up watering because of what happened.
3)Hurt, feels unimportant bkos of what happened, wants to run away.
4)Mad again, thinking about it, "Little Sherry" kicks in.
5)Calms down. Tries REALLY HARD to be calm about it.
6)Holds in yearning to throw and yell and bitch.
7)Thinks about things, old memories.
8)Gets sad all over again.
9)Stays sad.
10)Eventually gets over it somehow.

Hunney Bun, I know I disappointed you today.
I was stupid. and you don't need take any responsibility for it, I was just plain stupid and lost control. Just please understand, I just really wanted to be with you today. Bkos of everything that happened, a voice inside kept telling me, "Look at him, he doesn't want to be with you. Just look at him have a great time with them, when with yu he's never that happy."
That voice inside tricked me. That voice was my stupid doubt.
I'm sorry Hun<+3 I'm really sorry. I Love You, and I really want to be with you.

Winter Wonderland =)

Things I really Wanna Do;
-Spend a romantic Day with Henry.
Emphasis, on the day ;D haha!
-Watch A Christmas Carol in theaters!
I Love A Christmas Carol, SOOO MUCH!
-Go Winter Clothes Shopping With Best Friend. =)
I Miss You Sheri and Annie! Haven't seen you in millions of years!
-GET RID OF THAT STALKER. EFF.
-Explore somewhere new.
-Fix "something" of myself.
-Have A Merry Merry Christmas =)
-Spend the Holidays with the best friends.
YESSSS Diana, That INCLUDES You! =) <+3
-Ignight the flame to the UNTH power.

So Today, Went to Diana's ;D She's so cute! I
was pedofiling her, she liked it! I did her hair =) She washed it off after I left D: Party pooper! We talked about things, listened to music, laughed at random stuff, I'm so comfortable at her house, its like we're really related!

Yesterday was Vj's party.
I wish I could've swam, I really did. My Stomach hurt a lot though, and the smell of the water and kids like consumed me. It was a fun day though =) I wish VJAY THE VERY VERY BEST! <+3

Friday was Day with Henry, his mommy bought me a cute tshirt =)
I shall wear it tomarrow! I really wna spend a Holiday with you hun, but I somehow doubt it'll happen )= BUT I STILL LOVE YOU<+3 I can settle with you having a good holiday time with family. I'll try to. I Promise. =)

I have SOOOOOO many things I want to do for winter! OMG. FASHION YEARNING APPROACHINGGGGG! I. WANT. TO. GO. SHOPPING!!!! EEEEEE! *SQUEEEEEEEL!*

I WANT NEW WINTRY CLOTHESSSSSS EEEE! :D I just LOVEEE WINTER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA! =)

I effing LOVEEEEE you. =) You like the Beatles I'm hoping? ;D

I'd like to start off this blog wishing My Sweet VanessaJoie a Happy Sweet 16th Birthday. =) I had such a cute present for you )= Actually, I don't know if you would've like it that much o_o But since my DAD THREW IT AWAY D:{ ! I'll just tell you what it is. *Ahem* ... An empty milk gallon! :D that expired on your birthday! LOL.

I don't know, I always find those kind of presents entertaining. I had been drinking that milk daily, for the past week, hoping to finish it on time for your birthday. There was barely any left yesterday, and then I check today, and my dad threw it away. )= I'm so sorry babe. I'm currently trying to find something I can spruce up before tomarrow, bkos I don't want to just give you something not with the heart =) I know our friendship has been long-distance lately, but like my romance book says, "Both parties have to try, to keep a happy relationship going." =) I'm wondering if I should give you the brand new box of ______ that I have. I mean, I don't even know if you'd really like, use it. xD I wna get you something special. Since you weren't able to make it to my sweet 16 party )= Your missed out fun must be made up =)

You'll find out what I end up finding tomarrow ;D Actually, I think I already have an idea! Tehehe.

Best Wishes on Your 16th birthday. Te Amo! Tu Novia, Sherry. <+3
-------------------------------------------
I'd also like to Dedicate this blog to some other special people;
Diana, I can not thank you enough for giving me advice, and making me feel better about all the stupid things I do. I Love You. =)
Sheri, I know things have been hard for both me, and you, but I'm so glad that you still choose to confide in me, even though I'm so horrible at texting back. -_- I know it's a lame excuse, but my phone, and my deff-osity, is to blame.
Annie, I haven't seen you in SO long. But you still reach out, and you still try to keep us close, I love You For that<+3 =)
And, LOL. Chris. Believe it or not, You saying "Good Morning!" Every morning at 6Am, really brightens up the day ;)


To Henry,
I hate us having these little problems, I mean, sure it hurt me, but I'm sure I hurt you too. And it's frustrating for me, but what I haven't realized is how frustrating it must be for you too. Having all these expectations I keep hoping you'd fufill. I keep hoping that you'll know how to make me happy. But I should've figured, being the person that you are, that you wouldn't want to try doing anything that I'd hope you'd do, bkos you wouldn't want to disappoint me. <+3 Haha, silly boy.

Sooo, Here are some tips, that will hopefully help bring us to better days! :D I'm hoping these don't sound too demanding? )= I Love You. "Both Parties must contribute to make the relationship enjoyable."

I'll contriute this lame list, :D as well as, once again, attempting to not let the little things get to me. Have better comprehension of "little things," and ect. xD I Love You Hunney. =) Hopefully you won't dislike any of these suggestions xD.

When I Still Want to talk to you, But You Have to go.
I'd find it unbelievable sweet, if you'd sneak on the phone later on to finish where we left off.
---->I'd find it even sweeter, if the first words you said were, "I Love You Hunney, I Miss You."
Even if you called while I was sleeping.
If it goes to Voicemail, "I Love You Hunney, I Miss You. Good Night and Sweet Dreams <+3." If I pick up, half asleep, "I Love You Hunney, I Miss You. I just wanted to let you know that. <+3"
I'm 100% Sure, that I'll be really happy to hear that. Even if, my stupid self won't want to admit it to you =) I'll try to, I'll be more honest with myself.
==> I know that when you call and I'm asleep, and you wake me up. You worry, you freak out. Ect. I know when you sneak back on the phone, I won't sound too happy at first.
When you have to leave like that, it gets me all, "Darn........" I'll feel incomplete, and frustrated. And at the times when you do call back, it'll make me SO happy. But then, your first sentence will always be something like, "I have to go soon though. I snuck on the phone, and I'm hiding -----" It just makes me, :D --- )= --- -____-.


O.O I was gna add more, but I'm tired, and still wna finish Vjae's present =) Tehe. I'll add more later. I don't even know if you'll realize this is here! ;D Byeee Hunnn. =)

Dearest Vjay =)

God. I Love you. You completely made my day =)
Its funny how down I can be, and just one little thing like that can change my whole perspective. I'm hoping that means it was JUST THAT GREAT, and not that I'm really just that pathetic. o.o..
Thank you for that, really. I really miss having PE with you, ANY CLASS IN GENERAL. I wish we could hang out more often. ( Sound like a couple, or what? ;) )
JUST TO LET YOU KNOW;
I recently just realized, that me and Henry are like you and Max last year! LOL. Like, Remember how you guys would sit down with each other in the lockers? GUESS WHAT ME AND HENRY ARE DOING! :D.. Well, yeah, JUST SO YU KNOW WHERE TO FIND US.

Afterschool, I was thinking about HC. Diana isn't going anymore, AND DIANA, IT IS FINE. DON'T FEEL BAD, ITS 100% OKAY! LOL. Really! I forgot the damn permission paper. -_- Shtfkcs.
Henry's not going either, and Smiley might not be. I don't know, she refuses to ask =T. Sure, I know a lot of other ppl going, that I'm really looking foreward to seeing! But, yunnoe when like, they all share this divine closeness with another person? Whether its a bf/gf, Best friend, .. Family member! haha. They have that, and they're bringing it to the dance. So like, I'm not sure, what I'm going to do. Who will I be around most of the time? I always hate feeling unimportant, or like a nuisance.

I'm nervous about HC. But I know I'm going, I want to try it out. Can't let my fear take over and shun myself from the world. This could be my last year.

Homecoming.

This song is quite, WOOSH.

I'm talking to Freddy, about how I used to Love rock songs/alternative. Like Hawthorne Heights. "Saying Sorry" and "This is who we are."

A lot of things in general today, made me feel really alone at James Lick. It made me think, "Maybe moving won't be so bad.."


I'm trying to get more ppl to go to Homecoming. )= Outside Best friend, and one of School best friend, don't want to/can't go. )=

*sniffles.

Argy.

Note TO Self;
I was the first first to ride in the front passenger seat while Sheri was driving! =) My best friend drove me home ;D From her place ;D Late at night ;DDDD
<+3

So, the housing lady, or who ever she was, called and left a message. The message once again said that the eviction process has begun, and she was going to help us get relocated to a new place. If we do not cooperate, the sheriff will evict us forcefully from our home.

Another reminder, that I'm really moving. Joy.
Looks like I won't be in this house, that I've learned to call home, for longer than a few months. My dad, seemed very happy about it, and this happens after he breaks my door. I wonder what he's up to..
Well guys. Looks like this is very likely to be, the last year at James Lick High School for me. What gets to me the most is, even though this is quite possible, it seems like no one really cares. I mean, Henry was sad about it, yet he is still saying how he's going to his cousins birthday on saturday, the day of thh homecoming. And what about other ppl? They probably won't come either. Imean, I know its wrong to want the world to stop for me and all, but it'd be nice if the people I cared about the most would stop. I don't need the whole world.

It really bothers me how Henry just has to leave me for his cousins. Doesn't even seem like he minds, he looks foreward to it, wants to leave earlier than planned. A thought will not race in his mind to visit me in that free time. In the free time he has until he goes with his cousins, he uses it yearning to leave already. Thats just how it seems for me. I don't know if this is true. I'm speaking out of hurt right now, not out of fury.

Henry says, possibly, he can go to homecoming, but he'll leave early.
..Great. So I don't get FULL Henry on the day I've been looking forward to, for who knows how long. Instead, I get left over Henry, while he saves the rest of his energy for the party with his cousins.

Why do I have a feeling, that even when he does go to the homecoming, he'll probably be dancing with his friends. and not me, and then he will leave before even the first slow dance?

No use dressing up nice for an imaginary date.


I'm so sad, about these things that keep coming up. All these reasons why I can't be with Henry on days I'd expect to be the most happiest on. The days I think we'll actually be a happy couple.

I know it's not his fault and all. But it seems like he just goes with the flow, like he doesn't care.

You Said It Wasn't
Gonna Be Like It Was Before
Then It Happened Again
Pushing Me Back Out The Door
Thought It Would Be Forreal This Time
Love Made Me Forget About The Signs

Is This How You Wanted It To Be
Everything You Had To Say
Sent The Tears Right Down My Face
Now I'm Trying To Escape
The Misery
Why Don't You Love Me
The Way I Loved You
It Feels So Crazy
Cause I Dunno What I Did To You
If You're Gonna Hurt Me
Then Do It Quickly
Cause I'm Tired Of Cryin
If You Don't Wanna Stick Around
Then, Baby, Forget About Me..

Ree-Cahp (=

Dear Diana,
"they have became an important part in my life, or they are the ones i can call up and ask to go chill and they're down.

Vanessa & Sherry (: <3 ."
WHY IS VANESSA BEFORE ME HUH?! D: *Throws dirty gym sock*
I'm just kidding =) I Love You, even THOUGH, it did hurt 0.5%! I've finally been able to catch up on your blogs, and I hope things are doing so much better for you and Calvin. I'm here for you whenever <+3 Call me any time.

So Today, I went to Sheri's house. It was real nice to spend some quality time with Sheri =) We totally wasted our whole day watching "Trapped in the Closet" LOL. It was quite entertaining, I loved how she said, "This is so *insert Sheri Adj, which I cnt remember here* "wack"? " and then she proceeded to click the next chapter. LOL. It was quite fun =)

My mom nearly got lost following google directions to her new house. It seems every has been having rough times lately.

This morning was really bad for me too. I was continuoudly annoyed and unhappy with things that were happening, which i won't bore you with details about. I do recall, me like, nearly blowing up on Henry. and After some conversation, and calming down, I remember what he said. "Well, when people get mad. They get over it later on. So its best for me just to let it happen. And not do anything rash in the time being." I really need to start doing that. Although Hun, you are still a fat hippo =) Just letting you know.


It was really great spending some time with you again Sheri =) But, IM STILL GLAD I DIDN'T WATCH THE EXORCIST. THE FREAKING PICTURE YU SHOWED ME SCARED ME ENOUGH AS IS D:

Play with me again some time =) You beach sexed-hair person! <+3

=) Day.

Other than my huge migrane, today was a great day! My first day of the week that did not suck balls. =) Yay! haha. Hopefully, I won't jinx it. DON'T GET ME WRONG! Monday with Smiley was really fun! Just, the ending was. wackatack!

So anyways, today. I woke up late, slept in until 6:30 )= Dragged myself outta bed, put on a warm red longsleeve, scarf, and sprinted to my car. Looked like crap today, but thats okay. =) New ChemAP chapter, ahhh the pain! So confuzzled. Will catch up tomarrow. Brunch time, met a new person, forgot his name alrdy D: Took lint off with tape, hung out with the fili crew :D Math lesson is so bizzarre. Psych was fun. Couldn't wait for Psych! Lunch time, filipino club meeting. Good food, Trung claims that it's "fancy," or, was that Lorenz? o.o Made new ideas =) I want to be more involved in fili club. I want to help be a coordinator for events and such. I'll ask Vanessa about it tomarrow. Spanish, same old same old, people need to be nicer to Ms. Helebrandt! Jeezus!

After school, chilled with Michael, Deemomma, Henry, and Smiley. Went to subway =) Talked about the girl that got raped by multiple men in richmont. OH THE SICK EVIL BASTARDS D:! Everyone but me and Henry went home around 3:15? Me and Henry went to library, started helping out with the haunted house.

Henry went home, Diana Came. We scared ppl =) Some little middle school jerks, some girl hitting on everyone, "you're cute!" and some cute scared little couples. =) Who I might add, the boy said our haunted house was "funny" but I strictly recall him closing his eyes. OMG. It was so hillarious!
Diana: *in a corner, holding a fake spider* PET IT! WHY WON'T YOU PET IT?!
LOLOL.
AND THEN KATHY!
Kathy: GET OUT NOW! *Chases after them* GET OUTTT! *still following them*
ROFL LMFAO <+3

Had a huge blast. =) Teens Reach Love<+3! Love Diana! She gave me a rose. She's so nice to me, really like a sister. She's really kind and a big sweetie, even if she tricks yu into thinking she's evil =) LOVE YOU DIANA! <+3!
Huge headache. Time for advil. Time to do hw. Really want to go to sleep!

)= Damnit man.

So today was a good day, stressful with the lab, but nonetheless. It was a good day. Me and Henry had some quality time, we've been having so many problems lately. I'm unsure if we worked them out, or just ignored them. But we had a good day today.. Stayed afterschool adn worked our asses off for ChemAp.


Went home. Dad comes in with a Letter. "The Eviction process has begun. The __?__ will give you thousands of dollars to help you with your move faster. All occupants of the house must evacuate lalalal."
...Fuck man. I'm moving. I don't know when, but my dad says it'll take another few weeks-months.

I guess this really will be my last year at James Lick. Man. I feel really bummed. This is such a horrible week. It's Wednesday. And I've been having purely horrible and stressful days at home ever since Sunday. I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow....

*Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

What is this? Male PMS days, 2 days in a row?

Went to Kirans house today, dad said he would drive me home. Had a great time. Call dad like 75938275947592 times. He doesn't pick up. Doesn't care to call back. Call mom, she's out gambling. Called Grandma, said dad and mom were out playing. Left Kiran's house for my 30 minutes of walking in nearly pitch black.

Called Henry, tell him I'm walking home. After getting tired of holding the phone and my 2 super heavy bags of stuff, i tell him I'll call him back, my arms are killing me.

I get home, about to take a shower, but deciding to call him so he wouldn't worry, instead. I call him, he's asleep. .......Asleep? Really?

"..You were sleeping? )= I was outside walking in the dark, and yu fell asleep?"
"I was waiting for you to call back, I guess I fell asleep."
"..Me walking home in the dark bores you. )="
"You said you were near home. I thought yu were safe."
".......I never said I was near home.. I think I'll just go now."
"*silence*"
"....*thinking: .. guess he's asleep. again.* *Hangs up*"

You assumed I'd be okay? It hurts to know, that even though, the neighborhood may not be some gang-infested place. You just "assume" I'll get home on my own safely. This small girl, weighed down by bags, walking home alone in the dark, would be Oky Doky. In fact, worry is so out of your mind. You even choose to sleep on it, instead of, "I want to wait until my hunney is home safe and sound. I can not sleep until I know she is alright." That, just knowing that you felt that way, could've made my whole situation brighter. But instead, after being left to walk home in the dark by my parents, and hopefully wanting to hear your cute little worry for me, I realized that I have interupted your nice little nap you were taking, while I was in the cold.

I can really. really feel the love. Half my conversation with yu on the phone, is you asking me for help on the APUSH test. I answer every question you ask. And you fall asleep after your questions are done.


...As Amazing as it seems, I'm not at all mad.
I'm just, really, really, hurt.

Baaaaaaaaaaby! =)

Dear Diana,
Eff. I miss you baby<+3 ;D LOL! I actually do wish I slept over at your house! But yeah. When I got home, my dad was out in the backyard. Sitting and smoking. LOL He got locked out. But he couldn't call me, bkos his cell phone was in the house. ROFL. So he was waiting for me to get home since like, 8:30? Around there! And my mom sounded SO relieved, when she called home, and I was home. Next time hun<+3 Next time. I had so much fun today (= I'm so sorry I couldn't stay over )= I know your having a rough time lately, I feel like an ass for not staying with you. Next time I'll ask my mom! SUPERR Ahead of time :D If you're still free tomarrow, I'll come and stalk yu. Only if yu want me too =) I want you to know, you're really special to me! And I Love Youuuu! You're due for some GREAT karma.

SO TODAY!
Today was like, awesomeee. =) So at first, I went to the meeting for the haunted house set up, it was weird. I didn't know there was a room next to the Teens Room! LOL. I walked around aimlessly until I saw a bunch of ppl in a room, and I was like, "FWOAH :D" LOL.
A few minutes later, after our set up and moving the tables and such, DIANA CAME! =) She helped moved stuff, and we joked around about stuff. We tried taping some blac velvet on the wall, but we were too short. So we tried to lift Kathy, and she was dancing like a crab, on our hands =) LOL. IT WAS FREAKING HILLARIOUS. I LIKE, DIED. HAHA.
Theeen After, Vjay came! =) And we all talked about our boys, while painting a poster for the haunted house =) I just realized that we were ALL taken, HOW CUTEEE<+3 Then, Vjay And Kathy went to their booth at the carnival, and some other ppl came to help us color the poster. Me and Diana then went to help set up the haunted house. Man, I really wished Vjay could've stayed for the haunted house part, IT WAS SO FREAKING FUN! She shouldn't have missed out on that D: So basicly, we were test running the haunted house, and uhm, (i don't remember her name) kept flicking on and off the lights, like there was lightening. and I was like "O_O WHERE IS THAT COMING FROM?!" LOL. and I turned around, and she's like gagging on her laughter. LOL. HAHA! Anywaaays. Me and Diana have parts in the haunted house. I was a tormented crazy person, in a corner. Clutching my brother's bones :OOO And Diana was a clown, that stalks yu, and then stares at yu as yu walk by. LOLOL. "No, yunnoe how we cnt touch them right? They just stared at me. o_o"-Diana. LOL. They said I was creepily wonderful at my part ;D Diana's too cute to be scary in hers ;D I'd tap that. twice! HAHA
It was SO fun though! Then, I went to Diana's house after. I'm glad I did, it was really good bonding time. Watching Nigahiga and Mychonny and other fun stuffs. =) Tehe. OMG Mario Frustration. ROFL. LMFAO. So FUNNNY! We talked about things, she tried on clothes ;D Said I had no boobs ;D I talked to Calvin. all that good stuff<+3 Her mom makes good food! From scratch! *gasp* I Loved it today =) Tomarrow is shopping with mommy, Sheri cnt go )= But thats okay! Bonding time with mommy? And, perhaps her friend o_____o... Or maybe, I'll just do hw and study :D.. like the good little nerdy I am. ..Hm. You know, I realized. Every year, I make a best friend. A new best friend. And we're like so close, you'd think we'd last forever. And yet, the following year, we get farther apart, we're no longer like best friends, but close friends. I just realized that it happens every year. I have a best friend, and then the next year, it's like they get bored of me or something. )= Some, I've lost complete contact with, some, I see them, but it's like they don't see me, others, just don't stop to give me some love. Hopefully, this won't be like one of those times. I hate being replaced by "better" people.. I always feel that I get replaced.. I want to have that very special friend again. I miss having that person, who you do everything with. Who, I'll always feel important too, and not left out in the shadows.

Love,
Sherry.