At Henry's House, waiting. Jusst waiting.

Well, I'm kinda sad. I'm down. I'm not sure why though. Like I was happy, and then something just got me down. It might just be pms. but like I know it was something more,that I just cant seem to figure out. Well, that sucks. haha. I just hafta retrace when it happened and wuht happened before and after my moodswing. Well, I'm waiting for Henry to come back from bball practice. Yea, I'm happy his family trusts me and everything. We cant hug or kiss in front of them though, and I do understand why, its understandable.haha. The font of his laptop looks pretty. his mommy is playing a cardgame on her computer, LOL its cute. she's like going "ah" when it makes a weird noise, i think that means she's losing :D

Well, I'm going to call Annie. I miss her accually, even though I just saw her a few days ago. We really gotta get started on that play, ill start looking at it soon. Ah, life is a drag at the momment.


I just ate and I cant stop sneezing. Ah. -_-

Family Secrets.

Well, what a Night I had. This is something, that I'm not gonna tell people. Bkos I don't wanna bring it up, but I'm going to put it here, bkos deep down, I know that I want someone to know and make me feel a little better.. Some of you may end up finding out before reading this though, bkos I'm pretty down right now, and its pretty obvious to tell that there's something wrong with me.

Christmas Day, it was fun. But 2am, the day after Christmas, my parents went back to their arguing. Which stopped for about 3 months. They started, the day after fkcing Christmas. Wuht were they just being good to get presents and then just blow it all off? Now my parents. When they fight, it's never just "about them" My mom makes sure she screams it loud enough so any possible person could hear..

I let that one go, I listened to music, I drowned it out, I fell asleep with the new sleep thing I got.
This morning, the 27th, right when my mom came home from work, she started yelling at him already. That was my cue, i turned on my music, and tried to sleep. But no, that didn't work out, my mom screamed, slammed doors, dad screamed back with his thundering voice. I didn't have to hear them to feel the vibrations, music wasn't helping. So I layed on my bed, trynna calm myself.. I thought about Henry, he calmed me down, but the thought of his family made me just want to cry. which er, i did. His family just seems so Happy. Compared to mine. He loves his family so much, they accually do things together, they go places, they spend time together. Now look at my family. I've been isolated from them, BY CHOICE, way farther then I can even remember. And the only time I've been able to get closer, is when they hate each other..

I just wish, I could have a family like Henry's too. But that's not all that happened.

About 3 something. My mom runs into my room, turns on the lights, and screams at me. Hits me to wake up. "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LAY THERE WHEN THAT MONSTER HIT ME?!?! CALL THE POLICE SHERRY. CALL THEM!" And she screams and screams. She shows me her arm. I grab the phone, and start dialing 9-1-1. My dad is coming up stairs, stomping, my mom notices I'm calling and hangs up. WTF. My dad comes in saying "GO AHEAD AND CALL THEM. YOU STUPID MVDLKMCLS." My mom and my dad are both yelling at me to call. When my mom just hung up on them. wtf. They called back. and they stared at me. My moms screaming "TELL THEM." and my dad just stairs..

Me: ....Can I get help for domestic violence..?
Police Woman: Okay, whats the adress? What's your name?
Me: *tells her address* I'm Sherry.
Police Woman: So what happened..?
Dad: What are you saying Sherry?!
Mom: SHERRY *shakes her head, telling me "nevermind."
Me: (So I'm about to break out into tears, bkos im so confused. and have no idea what to do) Nevermind... it was a false alarm, I think i'll be fine.
Police Woman: Wait, did he hit you? Did someone hit you?
Me: No... I'm fine. Thank you anyways.
Police Woman: If this is a call for DV, you have to tell me Sherry.
Me: Oh, its fine though.. Thank you.
Police Woman: Okay...
*Hangs up*

My mom looks at me like I'm crazy. And I'm the stupidest thing in the world. 5 Minutes later, the police came.

Knocked on my door. And you know what the only thing I was thinking when they came over? "Damn, this is cool." Bkos, they talked to me CALMLY. Something I haven't heard all night. They interogated me, asked what happened, if I was hurt, ect. ect. I feel safe around them.

They were gossiping as they were waiting, it was fun to listen to actually. So in the end. My parents got a warning, that if they recieved a call again. one of them was going to jail. So before they left, one of them looked me in the eyes, and said "Have you been crying?" I nodded. And this was very unexpecting. He shook my hand. and said "It's going to be okay," and they left.



Henry's calling me. I'm gonna be so glad to hear his voice... but I'm just really....numb.. I'll put more about what happened some other time. Maybe after someone reads this I can tell you myself.

Xmas Summary.

Merry Christmas. Details later.

NEW XMAS WISHLIST!MANNN. I AM SO B

MAAAAN! I AM SO BORED! You know wuht i'm doing? I'm like going crazy from bordom. -_- I'm like making weird noises and dances. So to keep myself busy i did surveys, and then i though, why not do a last minute updated wishlist? SO here you go secret santa's! After Xmas this will become my regular shopping list.

Top 5 Most Wanted:
Arranged in Random Order. Most wanted! Would LOVEEEE!

1) New Shoes, Comfy, Matches all or stands out :] Size 7.5 in womens.
Boots/Flats/Casual: Black, Dark Grey. White? Bright Colors; Orange! Mix of autumn colors! Red! TEAL? YELLOWWWW. IDK!

2) POOFY BALL HATS THAT KEEPS YOUR EARS WARM!! WHITEEEE :) EAR MUFFS!


3) Ceramic Hair Straightener.


4) Sleep Works From bath and body. Set.

5) BOYBRIEF/CHEEKY/BOYSHORTS UNDIES FROM AMERICAN EAGLE/VICTORIA SECRET/AEROPOSTALE!

Other Wanted Things:
1) WARM CLOTHES. Long Sleeves. TurtleNecks, Stylish Clothing, Different Styles, Good quality, not cheap, unique. Etc.


2) Accesories; Warm Colorfull Long/Short Socks! Cute easy to stylize Scarves. Earrings, Necklaces, Headbands. Belts, Hats! EARMUFFS!
3)New Pants? LOL. Flat pockets. Size 3.
4) Purses, Totes. Bags.

5) Lotion, Smells good, has a purpose.

Damn..

My dad's back to normal.. Lost it over a few bits of food.. he was drunk, i was starving, he was very angry, i was cornered. you guess the rest.




I'll make it on my own without you. These damn bruises will go away, bkos you know wuht? You can't take the hits we'll give you. I can take anything from you.


I don't need you. I'm tired of hoping for some damn stupid disneychannel dream. Its reality now, and you're not a part of it. You're just some damn figment of my hatred.



I really wish I had someone to talk to right now. This is stupid, but i haven't been crushed like this is a while. Time to go get some ice.

Thomas &Friends?

LOL, i didn't know wuht to title it. Well, I'm at henry's house while he's a basketball practice, just chilling. :D I'm happy we've been so good lately, haven't gotten into any sad momments with him or anything ;] Damn, im gonna be mad when i start to pms. LOL

Well, I have 7 new bras! Which i totally forgot to blog about, why? o_o
2 From Forever21,
black and nude, they're convertiable straplessables!
4 From Troarget :]
One is hot pinkish red with a cute white and black polkadotted bow in the middle. I like how it looks on me too :D
Another is all black [Bkos the other black ones I had were not for teeshirts or too small.] Very comfy ;D Xhilaration!
Other one is accually padded and push up [ewww,i know, fake boobs.] But it was so cute! It looked like a bikini! And it was blue, WITH YELLOW STRAPS! Not 'orange' Hieu. -_-
Last but not least from Target, The grey teeshirt bra. Wearing it is like heaven, its so damn comfy, i just wannt fall asleep in it! And i love the dark grey color :]
1 From Annie!
No no, I didn't steal it, she didn't buy me a bra from xmas. -_- She went bra shopping with me that day, and we were trying on each other's bras. She liked how one of my bras felt, so she traded me with the one she had, and we'll give it back next time we wear it around each other. :]

So yea, i hafta pee. Henry's mom is telling me how we should go to cooking classes so we don't die :D Yea, really hafta pee. I have one more hour till Henry comes back!

<3Sherry!

Haha. Jealousy.

No No, I know wuht you're thinking. Its Not Henry. Well, not this time. HAHA. So I was hanging out with Gino &Vjay &Henry after his first homegame! [ More details after. ] And I don't know how, but it got to the whole "College" conversation. And after I went home. Ugh. Saddness and depression. I started thinking about how, all my life, my brother had my family. I was one with friends for a family. He was the one with accually family. I mean, I don't want to be a drama queen [ though i know i already am ] but i just feel like typing this, so maybe i can read this one day and prove myself wrong.. When I was little, my parents usually left me. At the daycare. And took my brother around with them. And I always thought to myself, "Why? Why not me?" and when They would drop My brother &Me at my grandparent's house. They'd be like asking my brother and spoiling him and everything. While I sat there on the couch. And I thought, "Why? Why not me?" I never even stayed at my grandparents house. I would walk around the neighborhood and make friends. And those 5 or 6 year olds knew more about me in a week then my grandparents "tried" to find out in years.

I've been very jealous of my brother, i was a bitter kid. I got over that, bkos I was one, with friends. &I let go of the fact that "Family"'s not as close as they are in the t.v. shows. I may not have had all my family, but I had some, better than none. And maybe, they had a good reason for the things they did.. I thought i was rid of that whole thing. But recently, as I said before, my parents told me that they're not helping me pay for college at all. They can't afford it. Yet they can afford to send my brother. "Why? Why not me?" runs through my head. "He's older," I felt like just exploding in tears, but yunnoe, i didn't. Maybe I just stoned up after all that time. Well, My brother has a whole lotta friends this year. So he has a family. family family, and friends as family. The old me would say "Why, why not me?" But, i'm tired of asking. I'm not getting any answers. So i'm just going to try to stop being so painfully envious. And I'm just going to be happy for him. Bkos he's my brother, and maybe this way, i'll get some of that good luck coming my way.

I'm already lucky enough yunnoe? Sure some things are gonna be tough. I have the Best Friend that any could ever possibly dream of. I Fkcing Love You Sheri, <3 And I Have the husband, that is waaay better than any little "princess" could want as a little girl. I Love You Hunney, Let's get married. :) My Mom is the most hard working, and I understand why she can't support me as much, that just means she believes i'm strong enough to survive what comes next.

So I'm Happy. I'm happy I got over everything. Bkos believe or not, after all that time being alone, taking care of myself, I'm deffinately ready to support myself, and I know I'll have the best of the best helping me along the way. <3


How did such burning envy turn into happyness and pride? :]

Rant? Kinda.

Haha, Maaan. I'm spending so much money on people this year, but yunnoe, I'm happy. I don't even talk to them that much anymore, its the least I can do! To make up for My Absence. I know i have to get Vjay something, bkos she's like 1. My only best girl friend at the school -_- 2. Completely understands me bkos she's in the same position. 3. We have a very retarded Bond :D
And Gino, I just feel like i haven't been a very good friend to him lately, so i'm happy i got him omething :D i just hope he doens't already have it o_o

I think I might get Michael something, i mean, he's pretty cool. He's accually like one of my best friends at school! Haha.

So today, i was mean to Henry. Yeaaa. And the quetion popped into my head, "Am I too cold for Henry? Like the book says?" I really hope not. But I think i might be. Its bkos i don't know how to deal with things, when he makes me sad or disappointed. I mean I can feel really sad, but what can I do about it? I try not to make him sad. But that just makes me sad. And I guess it can be judged as "coldness" But what can I do? Someone tell me what can I do? Just ignore it and pretend nothing happened? I can't do that. Bkos I love him so much. Just sometimes, he'll hurt my feelings. I know i shouldn't blow up on him, bkos I often do that when i'm irritated. Which i shouldn't. He has enough problems coming from me, and I shouldn't create more yunnoe?

Well, tell me if I'm wrong or not, or what I should do. So I got ready yesterday, picked out EVERYTHING, planned everything so that I would be early. And he told that he might just go play basketball, in case I came late, but i told him i was going to be early for sure. So i came, and ran over and asked if He was there yet. "No, he's not in the lockers." So i'm happy. I thought i was early. And I was standing waiting for i dunno how long excatly? And Henry appears from the doorway. "Yay! My Hunneybunney's finally here!" is what I'm thinking. "Oh I was playing basketball." He replies... Ouch. That hurt.
He knew I said I was coming early. Did he just not think I was going to show up early? Didn't believe I would do what I said? Well, it just hurt me. Bkos i told him i was gonna be early. I really wanted to spend time with him before school. This always happens too. When I'm early, he's not. When he's early, I'm not. And it just made me sad bkos, i was early. He was early. So i was pretty sad.. Yea, I'm a clingy drama queen.
He wrote me saying sorry, and that he knew I was mad for waiting. No. I wasn't. I wasn't mad bkos I had to wait. I would wait forever to be with him. I was just frustrated, bkos this thing always happens. Disappointed, of all the effort I put into it just to wait alone while he was playing basketball. Sad, bkos in the end, i still didn't get to spend time with him.

My emotions ran deep, and i didn't know how to react. So i guess i was "cold" to him... What was I supposed to do in that situation? I know if we had switched places though, he would be fine with it, disappointed, but probly would've pretended he was over it. I wish I could do that for him sake, I really wish I could. But I can't. I know I shouldn't be too hard on him. it's not his fault at all. its probably my fault, he said he was going to play basketball, maybe i should've just gone to check if he was there. there i go again being stupid.

Well, at least we got over that. I don't know what to do. I mean, I've been in relationships before, But Henry is nothing like the others. Nothing at all. So it feels like I'm in my first relationship all over again. Someone help me out here.

Henry, I love you hunney, no matter how much of a stupidass I am. I Love You, Very Much<3

Merry Soon To Be Christmas!

I should really be sleeping! I needa be early tomarro! I will drag myself out of bed if I have to! I told Henry i would be coming early and i shall! :]

Well Xmas Shopping is almost done! I bought Presents for; Henry, Gino, Mommy, Daddy, Annie's mommy, other Annie, SmileyyyBoo!
[ ] Sheri<3
[ ] Annie!
[ ] Finishing part to Vjay's!
[ ] Extra Special Part for Henry :]
I think I'm gonna try to get presents for;
[ ] David&Fabian; They're sharing. :D
[ ] Saggy/Ana! :D

I Hope I get to spend this christmas with someone I Love, bkos last year was a very lonely time. Everyone pretty much left with Friends for xmas. I was at home, pretty much alone. Cept for maybe 2-3 hours that Sheri came to visit? :]

Its been feeling like xmas for me ever since thanksgiving, so i just hope i won't be disappointed!

Well, Henry, I loveee you! Em Yeu Anh! Yea, It's been a bumpy time lately, all the paranoia, the events, i havne't had a day alone with you in so long! We need to go out on a date again, maybe after xmas.. when we don't have to save. haha :]

Wish List;

At the top of my list at the momment is;
+[ ] SCARVEEESSS! HATS! WARM ASSECORIES THAR STAND OUT AND MAKE THE CLOTHES POP! :]
++[ ] Golden Yellow TurtleNeck Sweatshirt from Forever21! OH GODDD PLEASEEEE!<333

+[ ] New Shoes That Stand Out! :]
+[ ] Anything from the SLEEP Brand of Bath&Body! <33
+++[ ] Ceramic GHD Hair Straightener. <3<3<3!


I know there's more. buht thats the top of my list from the top of my head. :]