Morning.

My dad told my mom everything. Everything. I've now been ripped away my boyfriend. my trust. One of my best friends. My Cell Phone. Any family I had. And another 25% of my happyness.


Well, there you have it. More to my "awesome" fantastic week.


I'm strongly starting to hate life. Buht I will get through it..

....

They caught us. They caught me and Henry.

I just feel so down right now. I've been waiting like a week to finally get to be with him, and when i finally do. Everything just goes wrong. Just when i think we can finally be together. Wuht is wrong with this schoolyear.. Everything.. I just hate it. Everytime my hopes and happyness goes up, it just gets shot down. Why is this happening? Sophmore year just shouldn't be this hard.


I just feel so numb. I'm talking to Henry right now, im not going to tell him, buht my heart is acheing. So much. I just feel so numb, so hopeless. Every single hope i have, everytime i've gotten happy or anything, it just feels like something wants to seperate us so much.


I think i might need to go to therapy.. I mean, i feel so numb right now, i know i feel sad. Buht it just feels like, man. I dnt know wuht i'm saying anymore. i don't understand myself.

Just fuck. I'm so tired of all of this happening. Why can't we be together hunney? Why? My heart has been hurting so much lately it just feels like its going to burst.



Someone help me. Show me, tell me, prove to me that it'll be okay in the end. The past week, ill tell you now, i've been in tears, at least once everyday.

I'll tell you something else, a little tradtion i used to have. Before i met Henry, i had this little tradition, every night, i would cry. every single night. My parents, the loneliness. It just always got to me. I finally got rid of it, the day I began to have REAL friends, the day I starting hanging out with Annie, And i lost every trace of it the day I relized how much I really loved Henry. And now, all my old traditions are all coming back. All this year.

I just feel like quiting. Everything, buht knowing that i quit would be worse.

Without Henry in my life, if they took him away from me, i'd rather just get in trouble every fucking day. Every fucking hour. Just please, get my mind away from all this pain i'm feeling from missing him. Please.

Son of a.

Well, i got back the vietnamese transfer paper. I got denied. I don't understand why. Well I don't excatly know wuht to do anymore, i mean i think i'm going to talk to the counselor to try changing it. Buht yu see, me being my super stitious self said "I'm going to apply, and wuht ever the counselor says i'll stick with. I'll let fate decide for me" And they DENIED me. I don't get it. Wuht did i do wrong? I'm trynna take it two ways; maybe it'll be better for us if we do just leave it as it is. I mean, everything just seems like they've been trying to keep us apart in school, yet when we're together outside its like we're the only two ppl on earth. Or maybe I should once and for all let go of my superstitions bkos Henry is way more important than wuht my stupid mind believes in.


I don't know. Bkos i've been okay, i mish him SO much in school, buht those times that i get to see him just brings a smile to me everytime. Those 2 hours, 1 hour, any time longer than 30 mins that i get to spend with him just makes all the bullsht seem worth it.

Buht i don't know, yunnoe? I mean, its the first week of school, wuht if we just get so used to us being apart? I don't want that to happen. it feels like my heart is cracking everytime i think about it. I know its dramatic buht I honestly, feel that way. Everytime i think about how much i miss him my heart just cracks another bit inside.

Just wuht to do you want from me?
Wuht are you trying to tell me?
Do you want to make me miserable
Or are you trying to save me?
Just why, i don't understand why,
why would you want to take away my sunshine,
Seperate us from eachother,
Break and crush all my hopes of being with him.
All my attempts, my effort,
Wuht do you want from me?
Do you want me to try harder,
Or do you want me to just quit?
Are you trying to tell me its better this way,
It'll work out in the end.
Or do you want me to just disobey you,
Bkos this is far more important then wuht yu say,
I'm just so confused,
I don't know wuht to do,
Baby my heart is breaking,
Wuht do you want from me?
Why? Why? I don't understand why,
You're turning all my sunshine into rain.


<3Sherry.

Second Day Of School.

Was better. Well to me i still pretty much dislike the classes, buht today was much better than yesterday.

Lets start off with the morning. I came way too early, I put my stuff in my locker and walked around looking for someone to talk to, i thought i was pretty early so i went to go surprise Henry for when his car came. When i was walking i ran into David :D Yay! Man, i miss having him in class with me! We walked around talking about how Henry Does/Does not own a car. LOL. We couldn't find him so i thought maybe he already came and was in the lockers, so me and david walked back and ran into vjay! Yaaaay 1st period buddaaaay :D So while we were in the lockers Henry showed up :] Put a hugeeee smile on my face and then walked me to first with vjay.


1st period, FUN! Lovedddd it. I had Smiley and Vjay with me, And Ramiel too! That loser :] Maaaan it just made me accually feel like today was going to be fun.

2nd period. I was waiting for Henry at his chem class when it took too long so i thought that he had alrdy gone inside, buht just as i was about to walk into my math class he appeared and sent me off :] Love Him<3 Eh. It was okay. I made friends and all buht I still have that sad gloomy feeling when i look around and see that Henry's not there. God I Missed him. Buht lucky for me today was some huge test, so that kept my mind off the depression for a while.

Brunch, Ran into Gino :D And then Henry and Vjay and Michael and Lorenz all at the same time, man. They all have chemsitry together. it sounds like such fun. man how i want their chemistry class. ]: it makes me so envious, i want that class sooo much, i want them all in my class too ]: Vjay + Henry + class = Funnest thing in the world! I swear, man. I mish both of them in P.E. so much. So We went to go turn in the forms, for viet, maybe hopefully we'll all get p.e. together, and i'll have vietnemese with henry :]

3rd Period. I made a new friend, i forgot his real name buht i cal him slushy. Though i can tell that he's annoyed of me bkos i saw him for next class and lunch after that and i kept calling him slushy in front of his friends -_- So anyways pretty boring. Buht it was fn meeting a new person, i accually learned something, i mished henry terribly ]: usual.

4th period. Spanish. it was pretty fun, it was hectic, made me want to accually keep my schd the same just to stay in that class. buht I gave it up, and in the end i'm glad i did. Bkos having Henry in my class would just make me so much happier.

Lunch. We all walked to the bball courts after we turned in something for gino, then letsee we ran into Henry, we hug for a while and he asks me "Can I Play Basketball today?" I mean, its so sweet of him to want to know if its okay with me first buht him asking me feels like i whip him. Thats the last thing i want to do ]: If he wants to hang out with him friends he should without having to ask me yunnoe, bkos. Imagine if i said No. Then he'd stay with me bkos i told him to, not bkos he wants to. I want him to want to be with me yunnoe ]: and if he doesn't then.. i'd be sad buht im glad he's happy and having fun. I think he might be playing basketball alot more now, buht if he's happy i'll be happy. At least i'll get to look at him and hug him sometimes. I mish you hunney<3

5th period. World History, the teacher accually kinds inspired me with his words. Funny thing is i can't even remember them anymore. LOL buht hey w.e. The whole time 5th period just made me miss Henry so much. Everything he was saying about "The most important thing to you in the world" "Who's the most important person" "Who do you love the most" Man, just everything, i felt like i wanted to just go hide under a blanket and lay down with puggles. He made me feel so many levels of missing Henry. it was like my whole paper was filled with his name.

6th period. P.E. God. Man this class made me GLAD that i requested for a schd change. Its just SO BORING. its nothing compared to last year's PE I mish the skater crew, I MISH HENRY, I FREAKING MISH VANESSAAAAAA! She was like my best friends, she made my PE class the funnest class the whole schoolyear! PE was something that made me happy to think about. And they took her and Henry and Fabian and the rest all away. The took away the fun of PE. Its now "PIECE'O .....EE-CRAP". YESH THATS RIGHT. PIECE'O EE-CRAP! God, that class made me sad thinking about everything last year. Damn class.

After school;
I went to vball, man im glad i came, it was fun. COACH ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO JOIN VARSITY! I just couldn't stop smiling, i was so panicked bkos i thought he was going to like cut me for not coming to practices buht he asked me if i'd like to joing varsity! It just got me SO excited! Maaan. And then the JV coach pulled me aside to work on my setting and stuff, yeah,im getting better. I've been having Roy coach me like the whole hour. Murder man. Murder. -_-

After that i saw Henry and snuggled with him for a few minutes, then he hadda go into bball practice so me and Roy sat and watched him for a while, then i went home and came back right after his practice was done :] i wanted to be there after his first bball practice just like he was there for my first vball practice :] I <3 Him So Much. Vball + Henry made my day! <3

Brunch time

First day of school.

Was total BS. Man. I hated it. The only classes i accually liked were English &PE. The rest were just heartbreaks. I don't know man, i just hate everything this year. I mish Henry so much it hurts, not being able to see him like in the summer. And Vanessa, she's like my best friend, buht even though we're in the same place right next to each other it just seems like she doesn't need/want me around. Even Gino's there, i finally have a class with Gino, and it just feels like i'm invisible. Man. I miss everything about Last year. I Miss how everything used to be. I think i have a crying/tearing disorder. Mostly every year the first day of school, i cry. Cept 8th grade and freshman year. Which were like the best years of my life. Now, it's back to how it was, foreshadow a horrible year to come. Every year that I cry usually ends with no real close friends. And horrible family. Last year, the year before, my family wasn't always there for me. I didn't even feel like i knew my "family". Buht i had friends. the best friends anyone could ever ask for. They made my year just skim by. The years before I just felt so alone. And now it feels like i'm going back to that stage. I hate it. My mom told me wuht might happen to us. Everything. She told me everything. And now this. The school. It just feels like they want to isolate me.




I know, I know. I'm too dramatic.

College Pressure.

Well, I was looking and reading about all kinds of stuff this morning. I started reading James lick's website trynna find out when the damn first day is -_- Then i found the "UC, CSU" requirements and reccomendations. Man, 4 Years of Foreign Language for a UC. Idk. I think i might end up sticking to Spanish bkos i want to move to Piedmont. They have a phycology[? cnt spell] class there. And i'm thinking i want to major in that. Interesting :] They even have Choir, 4 levels! And Home Ec, they have like everything they want there. Cept Vietnamese, they only have two years of vietnamese. Maybe its bkos its a mostly vietnamese school? Just like James lick only has 2 years of Spanish bkos its mostly a hispanic School? Who knows. All I know is i'm starting to realize how soon college is really coming, and i really need to prepare for the future. I need to start applying and try getting colleges, bkos i'm most likely paying for my own tuition. And I need to start going to a school that has wuht i want and can support me for college!


Well, this is my second post on blogspot, Hehe :] LOL. I still think its pretty. I just can't believe old xanga won't be there anymore! Is there like a way i can transfer all the xanga posts to blogspot or something?


Well, <3 Much Love. I hope i get to see Henry today :]

Testing. Test One. Testing.

Well, I was going around and visiting my xanga, when i realize that xanga is getting kinda, eh. its starting to annoy me now. Buht idk. Some people might still continue reading xanga, and plus well there's just so many posts and memories on xanga. Buht for now i'll start posting blogs and stuff on here. And when i start to miss xanga again, there it'll be. :]


So i got my schd back from james lick. I was SO upset. I mean i had NO classes with Henry, not ONE. Omg. I'm still very upset about that. I mean i really love him, and i really hope we can get through this. Buht i think this is going to be a very hard year for us. No more late night phonecalls bkos of school. No walking to our classes together. No having him next to me to hug and poke and throw things at. No standing and hugging outside our classrooms till the bell rings. its just going to be so different. And he has his own friends i cnt expect him to hang out with me everyday instead of his friends. I know all of them and its just not going to work. So I probly won't get to see him often for lunch. I was also talking to Sheri, and i realized. That Henry's my anti stress. So without having him to juice up the class time, i'll probly be stressed out like ALL the time. Includeing when i see him. I'll probly just be mad and stuff all the time around him. And eventually everyone will tell him its better just to be without me. AUGH. AHH. JESSUZZ, Its just not fair yunnoe? I can't believe they didn't give us ANY classes together. Not even any of the same teachers buht one.

Well anyways the schd;
Locker; 2035

Period 1; English 2a - Heger, T
Period 2; Algebra 2 - Rabor, C
Period 3; Chemistry - Lacanaria, S
Period 4; Spanish 2 - Hellebrandt
Period 5; World History - Frausto, P
Period 6; PE-Course 2; Bruce, J

Come hit me up, Come find me.