I am horribly abandonment-afraid.

I've always been afraid of the concept of, "Someone better".. And honestly, it has happened, plenty of times, which has scarred me.

I'm just so tired of finding these great people, having all this fun and memories, great friendship, only to feel left out when they find someone better.

It always makes me wonder, "What is it about me that tires people out?"
"What is it about these other people that are so much better than me?"

Hm... I don't know. I think the reason I get so clingy to people, always searching for the one group of friends, one person, who I can have a "best friend" relationship with, who I can feel safe enough and know they won't want to leave me, they won't WANT anything better than what I give, is because I know my flaws, and deep down I know it probably will never happen because there is just too much wrong with me and my emotions.

....haha, just had to type that.