Sometimes,

I really dislike how you answer my cheerfulness with tired impatience.
Makes me wonder why we are so incompatible.

Thankfully for me, I usually bootycall up some random plans, and then YOU come to me, and make it up.

SO, HAAAA. I WILL SEE YOU SOON, LOSER!

Booooooo.

"Can't say no,"
You said 'no' to me. :(

Can't get over how nice my cleavage looks today ;)

JUST BECAUSE

My boobs looks HELLLLAAAAAA NICE TODAY! Hahahaha!
Time to get rid of this tanline at the poooool today! >:)

Romantic things,

I love my relationship(...sometimes, LOL), and I love my boyfriend. However, sometimes, when I read about other stuff, (AKA SHERI NGUYEN. HAHA) I wish we could do some of those romantic things also! I mean, I think of things, but can't exactly do it. He's either too busy, or our plans go astray. He on the other hand, lol, I'm not sure if he'd plan it, all of his past attempts have failed! Because I am far too good at accidentally figuring out the surprise ): All of our romantic moments have been by complete accident, improvised, just a random "Want to blah?" "Sure!" kind of thing.

Well, maybe this weekend, if I have the car, I can plan something special for the two of us. And he can NOT say that he is too lazy to drive, because I'll be driving ;)

Oh a more random note: I think he looks really sexy when he drives. I never thought I'd be the kind of girl to dig guys that drive really well, but I am. I mean, even with his kinda old car he looks sexy, then he drives my car. The brand new looking white Honda Accord, and ohhhhh papa. You sexy as hell.

....I am never going to tell him that. Because he ALWAYS calls me ugly, so I will do nothing but call him ugly as well! I'll just admire, in silence.

ANYWAYS, a quick list of things I know about him:
-Loves sourpatch kids.
-Plays video games (sometimes)
-Loves mystery shows/detective work
-Relaxing at the beach, just basking in the sun.
-Taking walks
-Playing tag.
.....Technology.

WHAT THE HELL. HOW CAN I WORK WITH THIS?! LOL


....Damn it. One of these days I really have to start remembering when he tells me about his likes...

Faith

It's funny how faith works. When you have a great deal of faith for someone, you automatically lose sense of the possible negative outcome that could happen. And even though, those negative outcomes can, and have happened so many times in the past, that faith makes you forget about all those times. And sure enough, it happens, in the absolutely wrong time. When you're happy to finally see him after a few days, when you're about to leave for a few days, even when they day should be loving, and calm, it is not. You guys break out into an argument. A stupid one, at that, and it hurts so much more, because of what you were expecting.
I guess that is the difference between wishing for something with faith, and wishing for something you've given up in. Like my family for example, I've given up that we will ever be a happy family, so when I hope for a happy day, and it doesn't work, it's easily acceptable. I've seen it coming, it happened, I leave. However, for things you have faith in, want to desperately believe in, it hurts more, and you just can't seem to let it go. This happens until finally, what you had faith in, you lose. And then you will be on to phase 2, where you just accept and move on.

I don't know what I have to do to be happy in this relationship. I'm happy a majority of the time. But everytime we have a small argument, it turns into a huge one. Everytime, that hurts far more then any large argument my past relationships have had.
And then, I forget about what we argued about, unless they actually meant a great deal to me, (only 1 in counting so far.)

As I sat in Wendy's last night, across the street from you and your friends, I went into fits of rage, disappointment, confusion, and finally a calm acceptance. I began thinking about a lot of things, and wondered why such a small fuss always seems to be dramatized into something bigger because of the yelling of your voice, or the coldness of your actions.
I dislike unreasonable yelling. To me, yelling just reminds me of my father. He does not give logical reasons for his actions, so instead he yells for what he wants. "CLOSE MY DOOR." "I JUST DON'T LIKE IT." Yelling is a desperate attempt to have the other person fall into your anger, and hopefully shut up, subsiding into your whim. I've grown up with this, and also grown up doing the rebellious thing.
Because when I love someone, the small favors they ask of me, I don't mind doing. It's no big deal, I'll try new things for them, try old thing for them, do repeatedly boring things for them. So when I ask them to do such a small favor, I expect a good reason for why they can not do it. Not just "I don't like to." Why? Because I don't get why your preference, in such a small issue, is more important than my benefit.

How I wish

that my family chose that "Flint Ave" house so close to yours.
it was quite crappy, but hell, I would've been so close to you.
And I'm sure we would be SO much closer than we are now.
Because my damn distance.

*sigh* Oh how I wish.

To a very special person.

I knew you were having a rough time that night, it was obvious, and I was stupid for not asking if you were alright, and I really should have asked if you were already.
(I have so much to say in different varying topics that I can not even put it together right now.)

He is NOT a bigger priority then you. I promise you that. I absolutely do.
If he made plans with me, (unless they were like, super important or something) vs plans you made w/ me, I WOULD go to you. I SWEAR BY IT.
I Love You, and lately, I've been so bad at showing it.
I really don't know how to explain this.. because honestly it's going to make me sound like an idiot either way I try, but here it goes.
I am too nice to him.
I wanted both of you guys to be there, but honestly I really wished that you guys got to talking more.. and for him, I KNEW that he would feel uncomfortable around all those people, that he would not even make an effort to really talk to them. However, I was really surprised that you also felt that way. I've never seen you so quiet, I had no idea what to do. It was so strange not seeing jump from place to place talking to people like you usually would. I for one thing did NOT call you clingy, because I KNOW you are absolutely the complete opposite of that! And was the main reason I was so surprised.
I did take you for granted that night, I am so sorry. I really am. I really wanted to have a great time with the both of you.
And honestly, from the bottom of my heart, halfway through the waiting, around the time he kept asking for the stupid elevator that I just wanted to get over so he'd stop asking. I thought to myself, "It might have been better to bring my mother and thing(you)."
It might sound like I am trying to butter this up, that I am lying, that I am trying to make false hope or whatever, but I am NOT.
I know that he does that.
I told him "STOP. You are making her feel blah blah"
He does not take me seriously.
I was too weak to actually put my foot down and explain to him not to.
I am so sorry that I acted so stupidly.

I am terribly, terribly, sorry.
*sigh*

Oh baby,

You are such a sweetie.
You would literally probably go to the end of time for me and back. Your actions are just so damn adorable.
Sometimes, I really wonder how lucky I am. I really feel like I am the luckiest person a live. I mean, sure, some things of my life.... aren't great.. but then, I find other things that are spectacular.

I remember when I first met you, I found you so damn attractive, it was strange! The first person -non celebrity- that I had this complete infatuation(in the sense only connected by looks). I never once thought we'd be together, hell, you were just my piece of eye candy.

And then, we started to hang out, we saw each other all the time. I didn't even begin to realize that you had begun to chase me. Asking to hang out, somehow getting my number and texting me, somehow getting my aim and iMing me! You hunted me down.

At first, I thought, 'hey, he's just flirting. nothing big.'
And then that night happened, when you confessed to me. Deep down, I had always liked you too. Of course, in the like-dislike, sense. Because you drove me fricken' crazy.

When you told me about your feelings. I was scared. I couldn't tell if you were some player, or the sweetest guy in the world.
However, I took my chance, and fell for you. Best decision I've ever made.

...Thanks for stealing the centerpiece for me yesterday :'D So cute. LOL
"I WENT TO 5-6 DIFFERENT TABLES ASKING IF I COULD HAVE IT FOR YOU"
LOL.

I love so many things about you.
I love that eversince I told you about my tongue swelling reaction to pineapples, you'd nearly fly across the room to scream, "THAT HAS PINEAPPLE! YOU'RE ALLERGIC" when I'm about to eat ANYTHING with even a TRACE of pineapple.
I love the look in your eyes, when you tell me you feel special, just because you're with me.
I love that you can actually SURPRISE me.

I love how much faith you have for us, even though your straightforwardness is a bit scary.. at times...

AND... I love.....
How you look in a dress shirt and all dress up *hummana hummana hummana*.