Hmm.

I'm Confused, and Yet;

Really Happy.

Today was a really good day. *smile

*frown.

Thank you Annie for keeping me company the day after.
Thank you Matthew for keeping me company the night after.
And On Christmas Eve-12am. =)
Thank you Sheri for keeping me company Christmas.
Thank you Diana for keeping me company today.

I'm sorry that I've failed to feel completely better. But I'll get there. Sheri says I need time off from thinking. I can't be rational. Not when it comes to you. I just really, want to see you again. I just really wish I could turn this whole winter break around. I can't believe I've gone a week without seeing you..

I'm having a constant battle with myself, that is put on repeat for the past 4 days.
"I can move on.. I have to.. I'm fine..I'm okay.. I just have to be happy, just be myself, and if things are meant to be, he'll be my knight again!"
"........Why doesn't he want to be with me anymore?.."
"We can fix this.. I can call him, a little bit. Right?"
"... it's pointless. He just doesn't want to try anymore. He's just given up on us completely, why can't I do the same? Why can't I get rid of all this pain in my chest..?"

Repeat. Repeat.

Confuzzled.

I have no idea where this is going to go hun.
But, I'm trying, to keep my head up.

And as long as I don't lose you forever, I'll be fine.
I don't want to rush anything, and I don't want to risk losing you. haha.

We'll see where this goes in the future, and I'll be hoping for the best.


SHERI IS HERE, MAKING CAKES WITH ME. We were robo.to whoring >:DD
BEHOLD! ;D

WEBCAAAAAM PICKTORS?

Should I just, give up..?

Is everything I'm going through a waste? Have you given up on us, or do you really, really, don't know what to do..?
This is so crazy, it seems as if both of us are just waiting for the other one to make the first move.
I Love You, This whole thing happened, because no matter what I did, it always seemed as if you didn't love me the same way, being with me wasn't as important to you as everything else, saving our relationship wasn't as important to you as everything else.. Show me, if you love me, show me.
I pulled an illegal move, and yet I feel a bit at ease to have heard your voice.
But I can't do this anymore, I have to find out if this is the right thing to do.
"It's up to him to choose whether he loves you or not. Whether he's willing to try and win you back."

Just give it up Sherry. He just doesn't love you the same way, and you will never again be his, "#1", he will never again try to get you back, Alright? It's just not going to happen. Now just get over it. Got it?

Wait it Out;

Keep your head up, watch this a million times if You have to.
Dear Sherry,
I am writing myself a letter to make sure that whatever I do, I MUST NOT, AND WILL NOT, Give In. No matter how many times I cry. No matter how many meals I skip. No matter how many nights I lay sleepless. Must. Not. Give. In.

I don't know if my bodyguards will let me call you and say this, because I'm on probation from making any stupid moves.

I Love You, I Miss You..
Merry Christmas, ..."HunneyBun"... < / 3

Can't sleep.

I slept at 2:30am. Woke up at 6:30am. Can not sleep.
I'm currently nestled inside a tent I made with 2 blankets, and my ears are cold. =)

I'd just like to dedicate this blog to 3 special people.
Sheri, Annie, And Matthew.

This isn't in an order of importance, but in a role of play.
Sheri, you knew this from the very beginning, you know it was going to be hell for me. My voice of reason, my role model, my example. I Love You, and I Love You More. For the next few days, I'm going to be stupid. I'm going to be vulnerable; and as much pain and hurt I feel right now, at the same time I feel safe. I know you'll keep a look out for me. I can't begin to explain how much you mean to me.

Annie, damn, I can not believe you put up with me the entire day yesterday. =) You're so adorable, forcing me to hug you when I have to crouch over a little. <+3 I'd gladly do nothing with you, and I'm so sorry you came at a time when I felt like crap. I'll make it up to you, somehow. Just to let you know, a Hug and a few "I Love You" 's, was exactly what I needed, =) I'm sorry I've been such a loserface lately, but you stuck with me, and now you're stuck with me. Thank you. God, I adore you!

Matthew, YOU. ARE. AMAZING. I can not believe you listened to me blubber like a baby for 2 hours, and somehow, turned the WHOLE conversation around to get me smiling. You are absolutely a saint. A saint. A Saint. A SAINT! *bows* I praise you. Thank you, SO much, for helping me sleep last night. Really, I think it would've taken me 4 times as long to sleep, if it wasn't for you.

I'd be lost without you, and I know, it's cliche, it's a stupid line from a stupid drama; But It's True.

You guys know, I still miss him. And as we speak right now, I'm feeling the need to choke back tears.
"I know that if he really was “the one” he would come back for you because he knows that YOU are “the one” for him."

I Love You Guys<+3

Hope.

I Keep hoping that every single sound I hear outside my window will be you.
Coming to tell me, that we can work this out.
That you love me.

Such a hard time for me right now. The parents arguing. Packing everything by Sunday. Knowing that your present is left laying by my bedside. Knowing that the very second the present I got for you arrives, I will burst into tears.

I Love You..
Is it wrong of me to love you? Is it right for me to feel so heart broken?
How do you get over someone you still want to be with?

Why, why can't you love me like the way I love you....?

A man won’t let go if he really loves you.
Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you.

"Can you picture us still being together in the future?"


If you read this before you actually call back.
"We Need To Talk."

Annie'

Is at my house, raiding my closet and neglecting the long sleeve I picked out for her D:

TAKE THAT ANNIE.


:D..... *poke*



Annie is sleeping over, =) it is 1:13AM. ;DDD WHEN THE HELL IS ANNIE AND HENRY'S PRESENT COMING?!?!?!



Can't wait for Xmas present opening >:DDDDDD SO exicted! PWAHAHAAH.

"HO HO HO, FEEL MY BOOBIES!" -Annie.

Yes annie, I will.

Love,<+3

Note To Self;

NOTE TO SELF;

-Pack Up By Next Sunday;
To my new tiny little house, with a Tiny little room as shown in this picture;
<<<<<< -Finish Driver's Ed Class by 12/26/09.
So the pink slip will arrive by/before 12/28/09.
Just found out my uncle, the driving instructor, could've taught me everything for free, and given me a pink slip. -_- WHATTA WASTE OF $20 ON DRIVER'S ED!
-Steal pants from mom
that she doesn't wear, fix/skinny up the legs and give it back to her along with other extra's for Christmas :D
-BUY SHERAI SOMETHAAANG.
-Drop Off Vjay's present at her house,
along with her jacket, and 3 pairs of jeans.
-WRITE XMAS CARDS!
-Finish 3 conclusion paragraphs &Thesis.
-Finish Hw packet for Chem,
STUDY FOR CHEM.

I think that's everythaaang?! :D

Change;

I'm moving next sunday, to my new home in Turquesta Court. Near Independence High School. *sigh. I'm really going to miss the 5-6 years I spent in this house. All the memories, good and bad. I'm going to miss being so close to James Lick, the library, Henry's and Vanessa's house. I'm going to miss a lot of things.

I tried to convince myself, this is a new beginning. Things will be different next year, but perhaps they will be beneficially better. I just never fully realized how soon this huge change would be. What makes me mad is that, when Sheri moves closer to me, I move farhter away from her in a matter of weeks. When me and Henry want more time together, I move farther away from him. When I wanted this year to be the year that'd I spend 84549387594385793 fun times with the group, I move away a distance too far to walk.

I'm just a little bitter. I will begin my packing this Sunday, moving out Next Sunday. Will I even have enough time to go Christmas shopping at this rate? Be able to spend time with Henry like I planned? Or will my ass of a father condemn me to stay and throw away objects I find valuable?

Head Hurts. Eyes Hurt. Heart Hurts.

Just to calm myself down, before I start crazily ranting about things I don't really mean, this is going to be a stupid vmsjkvnfhabvskjvn fljksnb fjsbfnsvjknsblbjsbvnladjkbvnhakbv njhBAJHSBAGHVHAHKNSGFOMV SBUHKSGB &HCIBJVlbfz blog. =)

So yeah, I got hit on elementary schoolers today.
They were pretty immature, and as annoying and stupid as they were, they kept my mind from bringing up depressing thoughts.
They kept whistling and sht, until one was like "I LIKE YOUR ASS."
At that point, some guy, looked 17-18, who was already walking towards them said, "AYE You stupid little kids. You don't fkcing go disrespecting beautiful women like that, especially if you don't even ...something something? Something along the lines dealing with puberty? LOL. Now get your small little draw on chest hairs outta here, ALRIGHT?! (LOLOL @ChestHairs.)

I'm smirked, and turned abound to see the group of little boys fumbling around the older guy. LOL.


Been a while sad I had "fun." Fun that lasted the whole day. I'm so stressed out.

NEW PRC FOR JAMESLICKVSA.

LOOKING AT THE Public Relations Coordinator Of the James Lick Vietnamese Club! =)
Or, what ever the hell our name is going to be.

We're looking to some new things to do,
Currently;
Selling Hot Chocolate at JL Brunch and Lunch, if you want some outside of school, go ahead and request ;)

Majority of the club wants to perform and get involved with other schools.
So Other School Officers, hook me up. Let's all be friends. =)


COME GET YOUR $1 HOT CHOCOLATE @BRUNCH AND LUNCH AT MS.POLLET'S ROOM.

..Ask me what room that is later because I forgot :D

Another Post About Henry.

This Song makes me smile like you do. =)
"I don't know what it is but, I Love You. I Love You. I Love You."


I never get to be with you, when I do, why do things go wrong?
It's because, the only thing we've been really needing lately, is passion.
You know I've been missing you, <+3 .

To everyone having stress;

THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!;
Cute Puppy Tries to whistle; =)

Whistling Puppy @ Yahoo! Video

Amazement. =)

It's amazing that I will be driving in 6-7 months. =)
Legally! That's around June/July. Depending on how long this Driver's Ed course takes me.
I'm really looking forward to being able to drive myself to Henry and drive home and such.
I know more obstacles to be with him and going sprout out from the ground, but it just feels great knowing that soon, I would have gotten rid of a big one.
Knowing that even though I'll be living a far walking distance away, I'll be able to visit. Even if it's just to drop a kiss and remind him how much he means to me.
I. Can't. Wait. =)

Another thing. About the Vietnamese club.
We have some really great people in our club. And some others that aren't so great.
And Demi, I know you're having a really hard time about all this right now. And I don't think you're being a bxtch about it at all. Those guys were being assholes. And some people just don't understand that before you start the fun and games, we need a plan first. You deffinately don't have to publicly speak for them if you don't want, but I still hope that you'll come to the meetings and support us.
I think I'm going to try talking to them now. Even though, honestly, I'm sure my face will turn red like a tomato either from embrassment, or just from plain anger.
And, remember those conversations we used to have about, ____ =x. the one who interupted yu about the website thing? LOL. Don't worry about it.
I'm here for you. I'll drag Henry up on stage with me. Maybe the assholes will be like, "OMG. A HOT GUY. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO LISTEN BKOS WE ALL WANT TO BE AS HOT AS HIM!"

Yeaaah.


Christmas is coming up, I have just a few more people to go on my list. =) All the super important ones, that will probably spend 80 dollars or more from my savings. xD..

Henry Minh Nguyen;

Is the cutest boy in the world. =)
LOL, cutie, one eye is chinkier than the other.

He's my sugarbaby. And I'm oober happy and lucky to have him in my life <+3!
Miss you hun. Want to hug yu right now )=

Jerks.

I absolutely can not STAND jerks.

People that treat you as unimportant, like you're the "follower" to follow them.
Jerks can SUCK IT.


BTW, Diana, I miss you. )= Haven't talked to you in forever!

The Cutest Thing =)

Here’s a funny fact. Join your two hands as shown above.Let’s start :

The thumb represents your parents. Now try seperating them apart, and they’ll easily open. They easily seperate because you are not destined to live with your parents forever. Now join the two thumbs back together.

Next, separate your index fingers and they will open too because these fingers represent your siblings, and they’ll also lead their own lives in the future.

The middle fingers represent yourself.

Next separate your pinky(little) fingers. These fingers with open as well because, they represent your kids, who will also have a different life from yours, eventually.

Lastly, try opening your ring fingers. You can’t right, this is because the ring finger represents both you & your spouse & no matter what you’ll remain together for the rest of your life.

FWEEEEPDEEP?!

Random Things;
1) I really need to do ChemAP homeowork.
2) Most homework all the time, is ChemAP homework.
3) I had 3 different types of fries today.
4) I paid for none of the fries :D.. YET!
5) I doubt I'll actually be getting things from my wishlist.
6) I Like surprises, but I like things that I wish for more. :D!
7) Fuzzy socks are a must this season.
8) Sometimes I'm wearing a low-cut shirt, without realizing, and when I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror, I'll say, "OH HEY! BOOBS! :D There you are!"
9) I rarely ever have "boobs" -_- LOL.
10) I feel colder at night without a phonecall from Henry D:
11) Puggles tickles my nose when I hug him =)
12) Idk how Christmas will be this year
13) Idk where I'm going to be living for Chirstmas Day.
14) I realllllllly want to live near Sheri D:
15) I terribly miss Henry )=
16) Even though I see him at school, I still miss him.
17) I miss going out on dates with him, or just spending time, away from school. Which I consider to be "stress-o-mania"
18) I don't think I'd be stressed at all if I didn't have ChemAP. -_-
19) I'm a horrible shoppahaulic, a poor one.
20) I want to be so rich, that I can sell a whole lotta beautiful houses for cheap prices to ppl in desperate like me, who've been evicted from a nice place :D
21) I tweet, myspace, facebook, read blogs, and youtube for a majority of my time at home.
22) I like having all types of different styled clothes
23) People that change clothes into a whole different type of clothing amazes me
24) I WANT A TURTLENECK ZIP UP SWEATER :D
25) I'm a little worried how my relationship will be after I move..




I'm still waiting for that one weekend date we've been hoping for. <+3

LOLOLOLOL!

CHRISTMAS WISHLISSSST! =)

Clothes ?!
- I Love turtlenecks! =)
Loose Fit FTW!
Size S-M.
-Cute shoes
Doesn't have to be expensive, just cute. =)
Hoping for some different colored flats maybe? Yadiggggg?
Size 7.5 =) In some cases, 8.
Ex; OMG I WANT THIS ONE BAAD!
a.n.a. Buckle Flat;
Available at JCpenney for $30.00! :D

GOLD/PEWTER COLOR!
Charlotte Russe Crinkle Patent Flats $18.99

Size 7.5-8.0 =)
-Love dark pants/Jeans,
Yes, skinny jeans. I'm such a hypo from last yr.
Accually, as long as they're cute, I don't mind the color =)
Comfort is pleasure! (All examples are from F21)
Stone Wash Skinny Jean $22.80

Fabianna Skinny Jean $12.50
In Indigo/Purple and Burgandy


H81 Acid Wash Color Skinny Jean $26.90

Torn Jean, 27.80

Size 3, or 26
-I LOVED THIS SHIRT!
Forever21, Attached Striped Scarf Top $17.80

Size S, Medium Fine too.
-Pretty Flowy/Loose cardigans =)
LIKES STRIPES!
-ACCESSORIES!
I'm in dead need of cute necklaces! And/or earrings!
Prefers them long, DATABLE. Can wear with turtlenecks! =)
Looks Classy. Stylish.
One BIG charm, or many small charms !
Examples?!
1. Wired Heart Pendant Necklace,
I LOVE LOVE LOVE! F21, 4.80
2.Tillys
3&4. Charlotte Russe



-SCARVES!
I Love thin ones, that keep me warm, without being bulky. =)
Scarves are much loved!
-FLUFFY HATS!
Yunnoe, the ones that will keep my ears warm with/without flaps!
Charlotte Russe, Chunky Knit Slouch Beanie $8.99

Tilly's Tassel Women's Beanie, in black. $14.99


You're Too Poor?!
-Webcaaam! =)
Gna be living pretty far away soon, )= Gna Video chat with boyprend :D
OMG, COUPLE WEBCAMS WOULD BE SO CUTE!
-A Licensed Driving Instructor
to help me get my Driver's License? :D
-Money! :D
I'm trying to raise money to pay for Driver's Ed/Driving Instructor :O
-A House
Monthly Rent Under; $2200.
Close to Friends, Not too far from JL.
Nice, new, not trashy.
Good neighborhood
-Cheeeesecaaaaake?!

My New House.

Here is a Checklist of the House I was hoping I'd be living in;

-Two Stories
-Looks pretty, Somewhat new, at least.
-Good size
-Close to JL.
-Close to Henry's House, walking distance under 40 minutes.
-Close To Sheri's/Nancy's/Diana's/Annie's House.
-Close to some type of restaurant or convience store.
-AC and Heater.
-Big closet, I have a LOT of clothes.
-Nice room.
-Not isolated from Friends.


What is not striked out, is the house My dad is forcing the family to deal with.

What Girls Wished Guys Knew;

What Girls wished Guys Knew

I bolded what fits me best. I Loved Reading this =) My boyfriend is probably gna get bored of it though. LOL

1. Don’t think that just because you didn’t tell us we are never going to find out.

2. Our friends know EVERYTHING.

3. EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Guaranteed.

4. No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

5. We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts/calls, then worry if you haven’t.

6. The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

7. When we’re not talking to you on MSN, we’re actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

8. When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

9. Our favourite part of the MSN convo is at the end when you say good bye, because that’s the part you say you love us.

10. We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentines Day.

11. We don’t care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

12. Yes, you might be the reason we failed that Maths test.

13. We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

14. We don’t care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

15. Of course, we do believe the crap we read in magazines.

16. We have mood swings. Get over it.

17. Everytime you’re around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

18. We don’t want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbour/best gal friend is.

19. Movies like ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ depress us.

20. We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

21. We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

22. We hate it when you go to discos without us.

23. We hate feeling as if we are like any other girl.

24. Don’t brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

25. When we say everything is ‘fine’, it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces.
(Sometimes?)

26. Don’t just say ‘ok’ when we say we don’t want to talk about it.

27. If you want to know something about us, ask our best friend.

28. If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

29. We think you are the best guy in the world.

30. We.Will.Kill.You.If.We.See.You.Slow.Dancing.With.Another.Girl.Without.Telling.Us.
(Not Kill o.o -Sherry.)

31. We really do want you to stick up for us.

32. Compliments. We love them.

33. Be on time. We will think you don’t care if you’re not on time at a certain place.

34. Whether you say (L) or luv or love does matter.

35. We don’t care if you couldn’t come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don’t lie to us.

36. We like cuddling up to you so let us.

37. Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

38. You will be classed in our ‘Hate’ list if you forget our birthday.
(More like, HURT list)

39. Do not ask what’s wrong. We’ll never tell you we just want you to cuddle us.

40. You need to tell us what you think of us, we don’t make assumptions (apart from ‘OMG HE’S GONE OFF ME HASN’T HE?!’)

41. Telling us that we are pretty will mean absolute LOADS.

42. Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

43. If you do end up doing Number 42, you just have to hope we aren’t in a bad mood.

44. Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

45. We never forget things. Ever.

46. We over-analyze everything.

47. We over-react to everything.

48. When we are mad at you, we aren’t actually mad at you we just want you to apologize so we can start showing we like you again.

49. Please don’t stand 384931491329403 feet away from us. Even if we are scary.

50. Please acknowledge that when we are online when you sign in, we probably have waited ages for you to come online so please make it worthwhile.

51. We do not care if 50 000 other guys declared their love for us if you do it none of them matter.

52. We don’t like being used.

53. We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

54. We usually don’t let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, damnnn you must have done something bad…

55. This is the way it works: You don’t give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don’t give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

56. We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

57. Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

58. When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

59. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

60. And please for the love of god shut up about how fit/good at something/great other girls are. You know we like you and the fact you do this despite you knowing how we feel is just evil.

In General;

This week has been very unproductive. *frowns*
I've been really tired, or shall I say, LAZY. All week. Not been keeping up with my studies and whatnot, not getting my sht together.

Been so stressed out about everything, school work and sleep just get left behind. Man, I am sleepy all the time. Been falling asleep nearly everyday in APUSH, Math Analysis, AND Spanish. 3 times a day and I still want to nap afterschool?! Crazzzaaaaay.


I need to find "Sherry" again, the one that does her work. -_-



Goshnesses, I Missums my time with Henry. )=

*sigh.

Shoutout to Sheri before I begin my stooopid blog!

I forgot to tell you before, and your probably already know, but the pictures are okay to post everywhere =) Annie thought what I got her looked stripperish ;) not exactly what I was going for, but hey its cool =)
"Stripper Ninja" LOL.

I have good news, and I have bad news.

The good news is,
I found a house for rent RIGHT on the same block as mine. In the SAME private street, same EXACT HOUSE, BUT PINK.

The bad news is,
My dad refuses to buy it, because it does not have "parking space." he'd rather buy some far as hell house, not 2 stories, not as nice as our house but more expensive by $300, just because it has a little bit more parking space.

Wtf? Man. I was so relieved to see that in case we can't find a nice house, we have one for rent right here in our own little block.
But no. Bkos he won't take it. He wants to take a house way down by YB. I don't want to spend my last year of high school at a school so far away from where I call "home."



*sigh. I Miss Henry Right Now,
Though I wonder how would he "react" if I told him this.


--------
P.S.!
I really need to start taking Driver's Ed. Man, I wish i took it sophmore year -_- If I knew Vietnamese was gna get cut out, I would've just taken Driver's Ed instead, same outcome anyways, I'd still be in Spanish 2 this year, right?

I'm trying to find a cheap Driver's Ed and a Free-Cheap Driving instructor. Gotta start flowing in some cash for college. Anyone got a relative that can be my driving instructor? I'll pay :D

I won't kill you, I've had 0.5% experience in driving :D.......