Where'd yu go?

Lets see. Today I talked to Henry on the phone, ate a lot. Took a shower. Was supposed to go to gmall with Smiley, we were gna go to Victoria Secret and LUSH, so I could buy a huge bubble bomb, but she canceled, she couldn't go D: her mommy wouldn't let her.

But I txt Cindy, and she was at eastridge, and since I was gna go to either gmall or eastridge, she invited me to go. On the way there I discovered I was crashing her friend's bday mall thing. Joy. LOL but I got there and Cindy picked me up, it was only me and her :D we went to victoria secret, she got me underwear without me realizing ( How does she do that?! ) and then I met Elvis (Crashed his bday) and his friend, uh I forgot his name o_o. They were both pretty nice. I ran around looking for cheap stuff while Cindy was catching up with them :D Then the boys left with a group, and me and Cindy went shopping for Brian at Anchor blue. I found a whole buncha stuff Henry would loved on sale. Poor dear, out having a wonderful time instead of bargain shopping with me D: I feel bad for him! Lol jk. So aftet Brian picked us up. it was kinda awkward bkos yea, I felt all 3rd-wheelish. So I was pretty quiet most of the time, and probly seemed snobby. But really I just didn't wanna be rude! D: So they dropped me off at my house, and I ended up here. Where I continued to whine about the hot weather. LOL

It's s freaking hot. I wish I owned a pool. We coulda if we bought that house a long time ago D: but It's for the best. Bkos I have Henry :D


So Anyways, I feel kinda sad. Where have my best friends gone? Everytime I'm asking them it's like "Oh sorry, I'm out with "insert many friend names here" And I know it's bkos they have lives and everything. But It makes me sad. Like, they all pick one day to "relax" with me. But is that all I am to them? Like, just a person yu go to when all the other friends are too fun? A Back up friend? I don't really feel like a best friend to them anymore. I feel like a vacation. ]: I don't wanna be like someone they just go see bkos they have nothing better to do. I wanna be a best friend that IS the better thing to do! But I'm not. I'm the "alternative."

I''m not trying to say they're throwing me away, that they're treating me cruelly or anything. I just really miss them. I mean,c'mon. I really miss Sheri. She's busy all the time, I'm intimidated to call her. and I'm horrible at txting, I hardly ever remember to check my phone. It feels like, it was a fairytale back then. I miss her. a lot. I feel so lonely when I think about it. I want friends, I want close friends. But Wuht I want the most is my best friends back. I want my best friends to FEEL like my best friend. I don't feel too important to them. Everytime I read Annie's blog, it's like a whole buncha names I can't even remember. Idk. it's not that I don't wanna be with them. But I just don't wna ask them, bkos I get turned down. I usually wait for them to call me to make plans, bkos thats just how it works. Seee wuht I mean? I feel like a back up.


Is looking for a pool, and a reason to feel loved.