Cooookieees.

Well i'm sitting in the living room waiting for cookies that my brother's friends are baking :D I agreed that chicks digged guys that bake, free cookies! ;D


Wow, my brother has close friends. O.O this is kinda awkward. I mean they're not even like quiet and like yea. Its weird.

Well, he's having a better year then me. lucky him. I'm gonna talk more about this later, im gonna wait for cookies :D

HunneyBunney<3

Hey Hunney: This is for yu!

Em yêu anh rất nhiều. Em nghĩ rằng em yêu anh hơn sau đó anh có thể tưởng tượng. Em yêu anh nhiều hơn bất cứ điều gì, anh sẽ không bao giờ đoán bao lâu nó đem em để tìm hiểu làm thế nào để nói điều này. Em thậm chí không nghĩ rằng em đang nói rằng: nó đúng. Em sẽ không bao giờ muốn làm tổn thương tới anh. mặc dù anh có thể không tin em, ma anh là chỉ có một người em muốn, chỉ duy nhất có một người em sẽ bao giờ muốn.

Haha! LOLL. I have no idea if it's right, i didn't even know half of these words existed..



So the vball game was bad :D i feel sore :D too much running today :D YAAAAAY! ..no not yay. i still have hw. damnit.

Life sucks.

Lol, you'll never guess what I'm doing. I'm sitting down here listening to my mom say how much she hates our family, and lalla. Why I choose to sit down here? Bkos the minute I leave my asshole dad might think of doing something to little mommy. He says he hates me too, lol. There's a lot of that going around. Why doens't he just fkcing move out and sht? Damn.

Well, my mom's not really helping me want to protect her. Buht, i'll stick to her, bkos she's the reason i'm alive.

They've been fighting since morning, this time i accually kept track. They started 2:12, stopped 3:47. started again 4:17 ended 5:02. Started AGAIN 7:31 ended 9:13. Started AGAIN 12:38. Now its 1:09. And during the whole fighting period, man i wanted someone to talk to.. I really wanted to talk to Henry. Buht i couldn't. The only chance I'd have of talking to him when i'm really down at night, is if I'm lucky enough to have him call me. And him, he can call me anytime he wants to, when he's down, when's he's not. Sometimes i just wish it was the other way around. Now my dad's being all "My daughter is so lalala, she yelled at me its all her mom's fault" Why the fuck is it Mom's fault you son of a bitch?! Huh?! Do yu want me to just sit there when yu mother fucking yell at her for doing nothing wrong?! AND FKCING THREATEN HER?! HUH?! Yu Fucking stupidass whore. There's nothing wrong with her. You're the fucking reason I'm like this. You. Not her. Not anyone else. So if you don't like it fucking move out. No one wants you here anyways.

Damn, being called a fucking screwup by possibly the hugest screwup you'll ever meet in your whole life? Thats some bullsht right there. LOL, its so wrong it cant even be paired up with the word "Hypocryte." Wtf ever. My fucking "dad" no, my fucking Whoreman.Should just go move out or die. He thinks i'm a screwup for talking back to him? Muther fucker he doesn't deserve sht from any fucking one.

Well My mom's going upstairs and my dad's trynna follow her. Over my dead body he's touching her. He'll hafta go through me before even getting in her airspace. And i will fucking knock him out if I have to.

If I'm not picking up calls or anything after you guys read this, do me a favor. Call the police for domestic violence will you?


Damn.

I Miss You.

I miss you. I'm sorry. lol. this is like my 4 blog in an hour.

I really messed up hunney, im really sorry for hurting you, i never want to make yu feel those heartaches ever again. I never. never. never. want to. Im so sorry.


I wish you were here so i could tell you how sorry i am. I was so mad. I was so down, I was questioning everything. Just at that moment, a song played on iTunes. "Forever More" I flipped open my phone to the picture of you and me. This is stupid. Those thoughts all are stupid. Wtf was I thinking? I was stupid. I am so sorry hunney. I never want to hurt yu again. Never. Ever. Ever.


Forever More;
I can't think too much about tomarrow,
The past is done and gone away,
But there's is one thing that i'm certain of,
I want to start my life with you, again, today.
So what do yu say we fall in love again?
Just like it was when we first meant.
So what do you say, we try our love again?
'Cuz you know we belong together,
And i know this time its gonna last forever.
The ways we hurt each other,
I know we both regret.
Words exchanged we know,
we should've never said.
Lets make it right this time,
and start a new.
Can you please give me one more chance,
To make it up to you?





Please Hunney? Can we try again?

...ramble ramble.

I'm going to be up late at night. My heart really hurts right now. Bad thoughts are swimming through my head. I talked to Henry, and i guess we did talk. Buht it just feels like nothing got sorted out. Man, my friends. They agreed with what Henry thought. And i'm not going to disagree. What if they're right? What if i was doing what they accused me of doing? What if i fkcing was? Man. I hate myself. I'm so mad at myself right now. I'm such a fkcing retard. I didn't notice it. fkc me fkc me fkc me. I'm just so mad.. my heart hurts. i dnt want to play in the game tomarrow. I just want to stay home. Stay home a turn my eyes red.

I'm probably being too dramatic at the moment. i DON'T want pity.. right now i just want to cry and cry and cry. I don't know what i want. nothing feels right anymore. everything's just upsidedown.

Its funny how someone can act one way to you, and another behind your back. Well, still feeling lonely. as lonely as i'll ever be. I hope. So i had a dream, i had a dream that i was at school, and everyone just glared at me and walked away. The people i thought were my friends. So, in my dream. I cried. I sat somewhere i hoped no one could find me, and cried. and there were the people, hudding up. "Why is she crying?" "Just forget about her, she always cries." And yunnoe wuht i realized? This yea, all i've been doing is crying. And yunnoe what else? Crying is just starting to annoy people. i guess it just doesn't mean anything buht "attention whore" now. I guess it has no fkcing purpose except to get people's attention. i guess nothings wrong with the year, IM NOT EXTREMELY DEPRESSED OUT OF MY MIND AND LONELY, and IM ACCUTUALLY FKCING HAPPY AND JUST WANT TO GET YOUR MUTHER FKCING ATTENTION BKOS IM BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



......man, i hate life. yunnoe those kids who grow up thinking "I remember I used to be such a happy kid, i wish i could go back!" yunnoe what kids? BE FKCING GRATEFUL BKOS I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO FKCING HAVE A CHILDHOOD TO WANT TO FKCING GO BACK TO.

Man, everything's just coming out, everything i've been keeping locked away in this little box in my head. The box titled "Better Left Unknown,"


Henry, i love you so much. So much. The whole time at home after this whole bad, busy day. All i did was daydream about you. And when i finally get to talk to yu, all of this happens. And I'm really sorry if i seem like i'm being dramatic. I don't want your pity, and i don't want you to take the blame. Its all my fault. I swear. Just let me take the blame for all the pain and heartache i caused yu. I fkced up. Just let me take it in, and lock it away in the little box, along with all the other great heartaches, the ones too big, to ever want to remember.



<3

rethinking.

The other blog i wrote i think might be better unread. This is my issue and my fault so i'll have no part in introducing an excuse for it. I messed up. No matter what the fkc my reason is. And i'm sorry.

Yes. I fkced up. And i'm tired of having to explain my reasons that probably no one even believes anyways.



I just fkced up. End of story. No fkcing details about it. I'm a stupid fkcing loser. Stupid stupid stupid fkcing loser.

And now i understand why you didn't want me to know about them. Well im glad yu did, bkos it's shown me how much of a bitch and fkcer and loser i am. and that i should go climb in a corner and die.

hahaha........ jk..... im jk. LOL..... funnny..........FUNNNNNY......

Soo, Henry<3

Happy 8 Months Hunney!<3 I'm so happy that I have you, so happy and so lucky!<3 Happy Birfday Sang. LOL. I Love You So Much<3 And I hope you have a good time, and feel better about the whole family BS.

Well lets see, today i thought was a good day, though there were some bad parts, that did make me sad. ]:... kind of makes me doubt what friends I have. Buht yunnoe. This year isn't all that great,in my opinion, it sucks. But oh well. I feel very Lonely this year, I mean, I don't really have friends this year yunnoe? I have people I CAN talk to. But I just wish I had friends that I could just kick it with on the weekends and stuff. Oh well, what ever. My old friends, i love them, but it doesn't seem like they want or care if i'm around. Oh well...

So Today is my 8th month with Henry, God i love him. He's been so much help and support through all the BS lately. I love him so daaamn much. He makes me smile, he's what gets me going through the day. And I know I want friends, it probably would be easier to make friends without clingy to Henry everyday. But now that i have to eat Lunch with the Volleyball people 2 days a week, I can't just let go of Him. I mean I love him ]: and I miss him! Well, im sure he's going to start connecting and get some good friends without me around 2 days a week. He's probly gonna be having the time of his life without me. Which is good :) I'm glad he'll have buddies. Maybe i'll be connecting with Friends too.


So I Love Henry, and he gave me flowers, they were so pretty, he's so sweet and cute. He's my hunneybunney<3 I wish i coulda done something special for him ]:

Today,

Oh Henry, the things you do boy<3 Went on a double date with Shayrai and Matt. :) Yeaa, i need to spend some alone time with Sheri and Henry. Henry bkos, its Henry! And Sheri bkos, its Sheri! Though every time i go somewhere with Sheri its usually never alone. o_o



Well, today was fun, buht when i got home there was trouble with Henry. ]: more family issues. grrr. makes me so sad, his family is so mean sometimes ]: Hunney, i wish i was there with you right now, im sorry i cant be there for you when you need me.


He just called and had to go in like a few minutes bkos of his parents probably. Hunney, if you're reading this, call me back ANY TIME you want to. I have my ringtone on blast and i don't care what time you call, just call. If you want to talk to me. I want to know if you're okay, i want you to be okay.


<3I love you, <3Lobguin.

Puppy Love,

So i was playing Volleyball in PE and stuff, and also hugging Henry and stuff bkos i just cnt keep my hands off him, like always. When Davilla, says this; "Puppy Love," .. That got me thinking yunnoe. I didn't really care about it much at school. Buht when i got home i started wondering about it in the shower. &I'm pretty sure that everyone probably thinks the same thing about me &Henry, Puppy Love.

What excatly makes something "puppy love" ? What excatly is "Real" Love? Arguments? Tears? Unhappiness? Why does that make a couple, "real love"? Why excatly? bkos they've been through so much together? Gotten through everything together? Fixed their issues with each other together? Is THAT real love?

I started thinking about that, sure me and Henry don't have many fights, thats something i'm PROUD and happy of. I dnt want to fight with him. What can we fix together if there is nothing wrong? "Don't fix something that's not broken." they say. I believe every word in that. I LOVE HENRY. I love what he have together. I love everything about it. And i don't care what people think about it bkos im not gonna change it, to make it "real love". Everyone starts off this way, they just cnt stop thinking or loving each other, and then, over time it just starts fading away. Well, me &Henry have been going on like this for almost 8 months now, i dnt want things to change. So our "Puppy Love" Is lasting a little longer then the rest. Why should it matter? It makes us both happy, and if we lasted this way forever, wouldn't we end our lives happy? Whats the typical "real love" got to do with us? Nothing, for me, this is real love.

I don't want to change anything about him, i love everything about him. We both have our own issues that we help each other get through, so what if they're not about each other? Whats wrong with that? I'd rather have him be there for me through the problems, then have him be there by BEING the problem.

Henry, i love you, so much.<3 :)

Time to eat mashed potatoes and watch George Lopez/That 70's show ;]

So i'm thinking,

Well, i'm still pretty sure that I do not wanna be the one to make up with Annie. So yea, buht who knows, i was very mad, buht i guess i "overreacted". Or just went too public with my overreactions? Buht i dnt take anything i said bkc, maybe the bad language and stuff, buht everything else i keep and i'd burn into my right arm. fsho.

I'm starting to wonder if anyone knows Annie the way I do. In fact, do people know a lot of people the way I do? Like the people that yu guys know, i've known another way. its weird, its like, they tell me things like "I think you're the only one that knows this side of me" and its funny, bkos people like that treat me a whole different way then anyone else. Some treat me really nice, buht others, who i get closests too treat me in a whole different way that no one would believe if i told them. Why is that? Man.

How can they say how much they love me and how much I know them one day, and just treat me like sht the others? Pmsing, calling wuhtever. Buht I just wish they'd at least treat or show the other people this side. I hate being the only one to deal with it. the whole "i dnt wanna tell and bother other people thing." does that give them the excuse to bitch off at me just bkos im the only one that really "knows" them? Man. Bs.


Some people I love so much, even though I barely even talk to them. Sheri<3 Cindy<3 Nancy<3 Phillium<3 Gino<3 Vjay<3

I barely get to talk to them at all anymore, sometimes we dnt feel close at all, buht its like, when christmas comes around they're the first i think about getting a present for.

And of course, The love of my life, who i can't live a day without having contact with: Henry<333