Why does there never seem to be a nice mix between genuinely sweet, and experienced romantic.

I've come to learn the type of person I am strongly attracted to: Sweet, funny, thoughtful.
Thoughtful, I've come to realize being one of the most important.

Do you know what is sweet? Using a piece of knowledge about a person and using it to make their day. For example, you're shopping, and suddenly you think, "Oh, he has a midterm tomorrow and will probably be hungry, I should buy him some granola bars." thoughtful.

Or knowing that they are studying hard and probably don't want to get up and get water, so you continuously refill their glass to make sure they stay hydrated.

Or rushing home to give them something instead of making them go far to pick it up even though your pet peeve is being interrupted and especially when you are in the zone for studying - you decide you don't want them to do that and ruin their day and so you sacrifice part of your day instead.

On another note, I think a fun thing about being a couple is the constant "no you're not paying" battle. It's cute, and it's fun. But don't think you're putting a strong effort by saying "no you don't have to" and then give up. That's not the same thing as putting in effort to the game and showing the person you really want to spoil them.
^ I know this sounds just immature, but it just TICKED me off the amount of attitude you gave with your rebuttal. Like do you really take that much pride in your one "no you don't have to venmo me" sentence????


One strong thing about relationships is the amount of effort that goes into keeping them alive. Keeping the magic and romance alive. It's not just about physically seeing that person, that is not romance - that is routine.

Romance is about the constant thinking about them every single day and wondering how you can make their day better.

...Unfortunately for me, the amount of effort and care I put it just makes it easy for you to disregard me when you're angry. You just ignore me, and give me short answers and attitude. Like I don't matter. You make me feel so unimportant. And you don't even seem to remember all the little things I do for you. That's how this fight happened. Because from this morning I have been thinking about how you treat me, and all the things I try to do for you.

When you said "I feel like I always have to chase you," that was the straw.

I do all of those things because I love you. Not because... I'll always be here despite how you treat me. I love you... but I have a breaking point. If you want to chase me, chase me, but I'm not always going to be here.

Hello Blogspot,

It's been a while.

Maybe I've been busy. Or, maybe I haven't had to write something in a while.

Tonight is one of those nights I feel like I'm worthless. I feel unattractive, unintelligent, incompetent, and selfish. I feel helpless.

I feel like I don't deserve you. You can do so much better than me. My confidence is shot right now. And I'm not even sure why. I have no motivation and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. And I wish you were here to comfort me, but I wouldn't even know what to say.

Maybe it's because I know my mom is unhappy, and there is nothing I can do. Spending her money and time offering to buy me a new car, a new laptop. I wish I could just do it myself. I'm so worthless. I just want to give her everything I have. She deserves so much better than this crumbling family. Deserves better than me. I can't do anything. I'm so complicated. I have so many recurring health problems. And, to top it all off. I just cried and washed away my Night Cream :( wah..

Good night world.