Memories

Ever since I was little, I would tell myself, "I don't need anyone to be happy. I can make myself happy."
In typical asian families, the son is always more adored.
Why? He is a male. He is the one who will carry the family name.
He is the one that will be taken everywhere, while you are the one in the daycare.
He is the reason you will question why you never got to be included in the family trips, the reason why you will wonder what is so wrong with you, why he is so much better than you are.

Sure, childhood wasn't all fun and games. It got kind of lonely.
But because of that, I am who I am.
While at the daycare, I learned to make new friends.
While being left home alone at age 6, I learned to make fried eggs and rice for the first time.
By not having my parents home when I got home from school, I learned to walk home, 9PM. pitch black.


I remember all those things.
They weren't such happy memories then.
But they made me who I am today.

By the time high school rolled around. Everything changed.
I had better grades.
He was failing a class.
I was getting invited to scholar events.
He was playing games until 3AM.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my family came to me.
Wanted to be involved with me, in everything.z

What exactly does that mean? Good thing? Bad? I don't know.
But what it taught me is,
You must be the person others will want to be around.
Don't be the person wishing they wanted you to be around.
Nothing will happen if you just sit and complain and mope.
Things won't always go your way, you need to find things that will.

Nonetheless, despite EVERYTHING.
I really think that I am a lucky individual.
I feel I am blessed. I feel really grateful.

I just wanted to say that.
Life is not easy. But neither is achieving happiness.

Fuck the simple shit.
Life needs some challenges so we don't forget to appreciate everything we have.