I'm curious, really. I mean, before, I didn't know anything about the subject. I trusted you with your every word because you were the experienced one. But honey, that's not the case anymore. I've grown. I can take care of myself and make my own decisions. When I ask you specific questions, it's because I already know what I'm doing, and just want some clarification. That does not mean that I want your criticism on what I'm doing.
You just don't get it.
Am I being selfish? I don't know. Sure, I'm starting to feel badly about my harshness with you, but I am getting so fed up with the fact that everything has to cater to you. And why? Not because in the end, you were right. On the contrary, it is usually because we have to be the bigger people, otherwise nothing will be resolved.
it's just ridiculous. My semester has been crazy, and stressful, and constantly demanding. I don't really feel like I haven't had a free moment to myself at all. A wonder with no worries, no cares. A moment that I know I can just enjoy myself, wake up in the morning, and still be free.
College, at least from my experience, it's an entirely different world. I devote my heart and sole into this institution, untying most relations other than that of college, until I can be free. It is that demanding. I am trying to discover myself, and it is a difficult task.
I don't know how to make you understand that this isn't me changing -at least, not in a bad way. It's just me wanting to get what I feel entitled to. After this long semester, I really feel like I've deserved this freedom that I am chasing after. At least for this short time being. It's not like this is all I care about. In fact, I will be completely appalled if that's what you think about me. I would rather us break up right now than you stick around wanting to "fix the wreck." Because you know why? I. Can. Take. Care. Of. Myself.
I'm just hoping that once winter break comes around, things will get better. Because I do admit that it is as much my fault and it is yours for the distance between us. Perhaps even more so mine, because I am finally learning how to prioritize things above your relationship.. Well, academically.
