I've got to figure out.

NO MORE KISSING.
Kissing is getting repetitive. I need a spark.

Alright. Gotta make this a little exciting.

Today

Great.
Finally, a day of the break with no work, no worries.
Spent a fatass night with Sheri, got picked up by babe. Snuck in a slept.
It felt great, just sleeping, nothing "sexual" just, resting next to each other. Cuddling with a lover story on, laughing about what we did that day.
Waking up to see that they have also woken up at the same time, and you are both smiling at each other now.

Just, great.
I Absolutely, Adore You.

Jealous.

I think it’s just moodswings,
but I don’t feel too important in any aspect right now.
I’m tired of hearing weekly-even monthly- plans someone has with a certain other friend and realize that I have none of these.
Makes me feel like I’m not missed enough or wanted enough for anyone to try and make one with me.
Hmm.

Oh well, it’s just a sad phase right now.
That I can, and will, get over.

This was originally on tumblr, but I felt it was too BLAHFIELD.
But, because I'm guessing this rainy weather's gotten me feeling kinda gloomy, I just need to rant a little.
I'm also thinking, "FUCK. I should've gone to dinner with Princess and meet some of his friends."
I feel up to it right now, just that, I am tired as fuckity and look ugly as crappity, and always feel like I need to impress his friends-like I have standards to live up to- which I can not do with tapioca express and rain showered hair!

Anyways,
So lately, as always, always when it's rainy. My parents have been fighting.
Cool.
My friends from outside of school that I miss have been distant.
Awesome.
...I've been in such an exhausted, "IDGAF" mood.
Dandy.

Just that, all of this adds up, and I feel like this.
But, it's not like it just slapped me in the face, I always get little feelings of non-importance, that build up.
Like every, "I'm just going to pick up --insert-- for our weekly --insert--."
I don't have any of these w/ my close friends who I miss oh so much. ):
It feels like they're forming that close circle, without me in it.
I mean, could distance and business really keep them away from me for such a long time period?
Even though they could equally, if not more, busy but still see their other friends?
Are miles that hard to overcome? All the time, every time?

Hm, I mean, I know they go the extra distance and all.
Idk. this is just how I am.
I am a loser. I feel like I always will be a loser.
I need to change my perspective on things.
I need to meet new people.

Someone throw a party, I need to live.
I'm just not exciting or fun enough.
I'm surprised how I find such long lasting relationships.